The F4J Have Your Say area is simply a place for everyone where you get the Freedom, Peace, Love and Respect to share what's going on for you.
There is no right or wrong about what you say or how you say it
the main thing is you let it out!
So have your say, vent your spleen, say your peace, let your feelings, emotions and thoughts run free as opposed to bottling it up causing ill health in you and for others.
Chances are there is somebody relating to exactly what's happening or of concern to you. What you say may very well help others as well as yourself. Once we all realise we are not alone and we are all in this together in one form or another, as living men and women with fundamentally the same psychological and biological structure, a great sense of relief and peace can come from this knowing.
However, the only condition in this forum is we ask you not to identify family members by their true names. Not because of man made rules, fear or ignorance, but purely based on respect for yourself, your family and reasons of higher good, else you're free to let loose.
This Have Your Say section is an open forum and not censored as such giving you the freedom to let rip with whatever's on your mind.
So with all that out of the way.... Go straight to writing a comment now
I am sorry to hear so many stories of pain and misery.. It is very dismaying to hear that the system which is supposed to protect children, is the very system which is enabling the abuse.
I, like so many of you am unable to communicate in anyway with the people I care most about.. For me, it is worse than bereavement, as I know everyday that they are alive and well. To say I miss talking with them, would be a vast understatement...
As I am running out of money, I will shortly be self representing:/
I wondered if anyone would be able to help with templates of affidavits, etc
Any help, or guidance will be greatly appreciated
Stay strong fellas, as our children will one day need our strength
The only thing that has maintained my sanity is tomalways think what is best for my kids. Not easy to do when you testicles are in a vice and the ex-wife is turning the screw, but worth it in the end.
I'm back in court tomorrow fighting for parenting orders. The vile little serpent ensured that everything that I had built is gone via a ridiculously managed property settlement. Only the lawyers benefited out of the entire two year process ( STO LAW and Leisa Toomey scored $110,000), and the halfwit judge swept my application for parenting orders under the carpet.
Tonight I spent another two hours doing a court imposed anger management course, completely mind-numbing, and next Wednesday I'll wander off to community service for the day...just 120 hours to go.
The message here...don't wait for this shit to happen to you, spend a long time planning your escape and make sure that you have your shit in a pile. The odds are, your ex will behave like mine and thousands of others and the system will encourage them to taking a large thorny object and shove it deep into your arse....then you'll know your fucked.
any help appreciated
Deputy Secretary-payments reform Mr John Murphy
Deputy Secretary-Service Delivery Operations Mr Barry Jackson
Deputy Secretary-Program Design Dr Jill Charker
Deputy Secretary-Enabling Services Mr Jonathan Hutson
Deputy Secretary-Integrity and Information Ms Malisa Golightly
Sorry but that last one just gave me the best laugh in a while.. Not enough of one and too much of the other.
PO Box 7788 Canberra Business Centre ACT 2610
(02) 6155 7788
If you want to inform this feminist of the standout job shes doing destroying people's lives fire away
My husband pays child maintenance for a child his ex wife is collecting money for. What is the best way to protect my income & assets from the CSA? We've been advised to set up a Family Trust but I can't find info re whether or not we should set up a Company or each work under our own ABN with monies going into the Trust.
Anyone help me please?
If you want to have any with your current wife you better be a fucking billionaire because csa will let them go without even when your ex remarries and has 4 more kids because the first one/s are the only one that counts
Hi to your great dads who have not been given the chance to rebute any accusations that herself has offered. I am a Mother of a son who was issued with as vro which was unfounded and was unable to refute any of what was said in the Court because of the lies and innuendos by his ex. I know for a fact that his ex had defrauded the business of many thousands of dollars, she even told me so, and said she had a plan to get rid of her husband. since this time as a grandparent my husband and I have not been able to see our grandchildren for the past 11 months, and even though I used my son's phone, he was issued with a warrant, even though I had made a statement to the Police it was me who wrote the message to the grandies. It appears that as grandparents we are not allowed to see the grandies unless we (my husband and I), go to Court and spend several dollars and lawyers to have an Order for us to see the children. As pensioners and with living in a rural country town, distance is another factor, however it appears that we are on our own, and we will have to wait until the children are at an age they can choose to see us. It is terrible breach of respect and honesty towards grandparents, and I believe that if any of you have parents and grandparents, for goodness sake read all the convoluted Family Court brochures and do not under any circumstances try and contact any of the grandies if it is for your son, because the grandparents are the third party and the ex will contact the Police to take out a warrant for your son's arrest, this is the truth, we have had this happen twice. Recently in the media, there is too much advertised about how easy it is to take out a VRO, even to the extent from the Police point of view, a woman can get a VRO for the word "fear". Our son has been through the greatest hell one could imagine, but reading many of your stories, I believe you feel the same way. Don't you think it is time that us parents, grandparents started an "awareness campaign" to bring about justice for the MEN. REMEMBER IT TOOK TWO PEOPLE TO HAVE CHILDREN, why do these women demand and demand what they say is their rights, when they are the mental abusers and mental diminishes of the children, how they can manipulate the children to their own gains and lie and want all the assets and then claim huge assistance from the government and other agencies. I am incensed as to where the SYSTEM will go, but it is time for all to stand and voice their opinions. Remember how easy it is to say DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FOR WOMEN what about DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FOR MEN. Make a stand you guys, ask for help from the proper authorities, then if they don't help, go to the newspapers, radio and other media outlets, even FACEBOOK.
I am concerned as a Mother and Grandparent that our children and grandchildren will become more and more hardened by society and therefore lose their ability to think clearly with respect and honesty.
I rest my case.
A loving Mother and Grandparent.
IF I GOTTA GO BACK TO COURT ONE MORE TIME IMMA KILL MYSELF (no jks)
No recognition is given to the fact the we are driven insane by the injustice of Australian Family Law, and that, where we start out as rational human beings, 3 years of court cases, where the judge / magistrate immediately accepts the wildest unsubstantiated accusations, based on the mere allegation of a woman (the supposed "victim"), will eventually drive anyone out of their mind.
Screaming & shouting doesn't work & is counterproductive.
Pointing out the injustice, is like farting in the wind
For the past 4 years I have been used as a punching bag, where I'm taking constant blows, & can't raise my hands in defence, because that's what they're hoping for - to give substance to their accusations & they can say "I told you so"
Well, my family has been destroyed, my children, whom I've always loved with all my heart, have been convinced that I'm a monster in disguise, and my love (of more than 10 yrs) was merely a cover or facade, while I was waiting to abuse them - she got this right with an "interim" IVO, which lasted for 3.5 years and was due to carry on for another 5, and where, on final Appeal, the County Court Judge said that there was never any reason for the Order in the first place.
Having isolated me from my children, she then refused to allow them contact with any of "my" side of their family ..... for 4 years, while she pumped their minds full of poison!!!
Well, my family is destroyed & I have been badly hurt & I want to strike out ..... at who, though, cause the (in)justice system is faceless, with each individual saying that they're just doing their job & refusing to accept responsibility for the damage
Well, I'm on the point of assigning responsibility - ANYBODY who is part of the system!!!!
I tried talking & reasoning, it doesn't help.
An eye for an eye, is what I believe - this whole, so called, "civilised" process, is corrupt and designed to hurt men (and, by so doing, destroy the lives of children)
Great advice Neil thank's mate..
Will please mate if you need a chat and to be able to vent some of the shit your going through call me
0419926521 more than happy mate to help.
Remember bud you are not alone.
My F'n Demon just tried to have me arrested again for a text that my Mother (the kids Grandmother) send my x 4 kids on my phone..
Keep up the fight Will, we are here for you mate.
DJ great idea mate I'm onto them too, keep up the fight mate.
Remember everyone if you need a chat about anything call me or text me and I will get back to you.
It's only together that we will have a voice for change...
Be strong everyone...
copy of the email to the minister for Human (Sacrifice) resources
Your killing us and we know you know you are!!
You need to change your title to Minister for Human Suicides Mate!!
This disgusting horrible system/industry that you have created through what you do and the Industry of PARENTAL ALIENATION through the so called "family court" is killing many many people.
You look like quite a bright man however I'm sure that you have either been blinded or held back by the ones making the money from this atrocious system/industry to keep your mouth shut.
If I can please ask you to grow some balls and help fix this one sided shit system or stand the hell down and let someone else fix it.
HUMAN SERVICES --- BULL SHIT MATE
GROW UP AND REALLY TRY TO HELP WILL YOU!!
OR OPEN THE FUNERAL PARLOR AND MAKE MORE MONEY AT THE EXPENSE OF OUR CHILDREN AND THE ALIENATED PARENT..
Your CSA should stand for Child Separation and Abuse ( or Alienation of parents) not Child support that's F'n just bullshit.!!!!
So resign or f'n help mate.
Fuck'm send one too will ya!!
Stay strong mate.
Do what you can for you!! Mate your kids will find out the truth and come back from the dark side.
We have all seen this so many times they always come back to the right side.
Just give them all the love you can when you do see them and they know mate who is the victim in what happened to you, me and all the other poor buggers out there, they know.
Sometimes it takes a bit of reprogramming but they do know the truth deep down mate, deep down they do.
They feel your love and your protection and they do know you will always be there for them.
We still have to nurcher our little ones into functioning loving humans.
You need to make and keep them close as you can when you see them to fend off the poison but you can with your love mate.
Your kids love you you know that.
This fuck'n horrible system/industry is designed or has been to make you a Monster.
You know who you are!!
It's time to make a stand.
I've had calls back from the CSA and are so called human resources social worker department asking after my email I sent to them if I was suicidal and They seem to be disappointed because I wasn't.
Stand up mate turn that Mad As Hell Anger to a positive for the poor baste reds that are fighting the Demond's now and in the future.
Fuck'm stand up.
Remember the CSA stands for Child Seperation and Abuse
They have Absolutly no idea and don't care about what they do to anyone.(kids included.
The family abuse court is also under the system/ management.
As we all know.
Look out I'm coming !! Who's with me??
Call me for a chat mates if you need a boost.
Stay Strong, Be mad as hell!!
If I keep fighting I will have nothing and I will be nothing but depressed and broke. My kids are 8, and 5. I've been fighting for 3.5 years, and getting nowhere. I currently have no access. In a few years, my eldest might want to live with me tho and can decide for himself, without my ex's influence.
Ive come to the conclusion that there is no sense in fighting, and wasting my money. I will use it to make a life for me, and my kids.
I got the VRO thing couldn't see my 4 kids at Christmas.,
She never worked a day but was more than happy to give give her father a heap of it and buy him a car.
I got the VRO on our 16th wedding anniversary but just after she transferred all the money from the joint account into an account in her own name.
My youngest is only 4 and I know I have a huge fight still to come with this deceitful Demon.
We all know the system/industry is not there to help the Dad's.
All the best to everyone for 2017
Be strong and fight on Hard
I'm not able to see my 4 young kids at Christmas but we will have our own Christmas when I see them.(under supervision because of the vexatious X)
Stand up and change your pain to a positive!!
Be mad as fuck'n hell, I am however I'm using my pain and grief to ruffle the feathers of the establishment (the powers that be)
So far after my emails to the minister (and other politicians, Pauline Hanson's is below) for so called human services I've had a councilor call and someone from the CSA.
Now I'm told I'm getting a call from the Attorney Generals office to discuss my concerns.
All I did was spell out the truth to them and what they are doing to us as fathers and parents and the child abuse that they are creating and forcing onto our innocent children.
Copy here of what I sent
Your killing us faster than the road toll!!!
Can’t believe the family court system and the court system in general and how a woman (wife) can steal all your money and cover it up with a VRO and then play the system with lies and manipulation.
It’s a long story but to say my 4 young kids are pawns and weapons used to try to drive me to suicide I’m sure is her hope to cover up what she did.
The lawyers say there is nothing you can do as she got the VRO first. That ruined my business and my life (as I working from a home office).
Just found out in WA you can get a VRO now if you have a fear of someone. Don’t need proof.
I managed to get my kids off the VRO but she is still on it and now she has made application to the family court of a notice of child abuse or family violence. Never was any violence.
I cannot believe the lies and the twisted half truths that she can say and get away with it.
What can someone do to help me and all the other poor men that are killing themselves because of this system.
There are some sites like this but it’s mainly venting about the system .
Please help us Pauline
Shane from Perth
0419 926 521
Why do fathers always gotta pay for children we get refused access to and no say in the life or name of? Huh? Some1 answer me that cos I don't fucking understand it
Fuck them all
Fuck the courts
Fuck my ex
Fuck the judge
Fuck the lawyers
Fuck Having a life
Fuck my mental health
Fuck it all
Shoulda never paid these fuckers to start with. I'm locked in for eternity and can't do fucking shit to better my life. Fuckers.
What all the people in this twisted disgusting system need to remember is its an "industry".And no one gives a fuck if you don't get to see your kids and you starve to death.
The system still makes the money.
We have all been played like suckers for ever with this corrupt shit.It's time to wake up people, there is no God, it's all bllshit, yes that's right, all of it is bullshit and no one gives a shit..
Perhaps it's time for a revolt
How many gov jobs are created here for people that should be in full time care?? Their a bunch of under educated
We would all agree I'm sure that they would be unemployable in the real world, if you have any doubt about that just go to a Centerlink and have a look at the staff thats what your dealing with at the C__t's S__t's and Arsholes!!!
D,C"s all round for sure, it looks like an adult day care center for the retarded.
I've been screwed from the pointy end of the pineapple and she is now going to go for spousal maintenance even though I'm not working. She can make up any crapp she wants and they believe her. She had a VRO taken out to remove me from the home/home office destroyed the bus we had and forced me into taking a small % of our assets.
Who ever gets the VRO first wins!!
That what the Fuck'n useless lawyers say anyway.
Tell them to AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
It is an unfortunate fact. I am not a woman hater or sexist, I love women. The fact is though men will always be the expendable people in society, the ones never taken seriously if they are victims of domestic violence. No one ever believes a man. A woman accuses a man and there will be police, VRO's handed out no problem. I applied for a VRO after being puched in the head in fornt of my kids, not fighting back, not saying anthing back. No VRO granted. SOme years ago at seperation, the ex makes up some story, bang VRO on me. I wouldn't hurt a fly, never hurt anyone in my life. In fact she was the only violent one in our marriage.
Men of Australia, we are screwed.You will be forced to see your kids very little at the immense power put in the hands of your ex. You will be broke by doing the right thing and paying child support. You will watch her think she is winning by going on holidays, barely working, keeping you poor whilst contributing little herself to the kids upbringing.
But ask yourself, who would you rather be. The stand up citizen with morals, work ethic, standards or the sneaky cheating shallow being.
Smile because you are doing the right things that count.
Karma is a real thing and it started a while ago now for me and it keeps getting better for the things that really count. Dad and his kids.
Everyone knows and agrees the whole system requires a total update.
So who is going to disagree with 80% of Australia? It is wrong! It must be made right, True and Just! Get together Australia!!!
Thank you Child Support for taking so much money out of my salary I have little to live on and support myself.
Thank you Child Support for giving all my money to a woman I have spoken to or had contact with for 19 years
Thank you Child Support for ignoring my plead to not take my money because my company is making people redundant in December 2016...but you took all the money anyhow!
Thank you Child Support for not realising that the lady you are giving all my money too is rich, whilst I'm living week to week.
Thank you Child Support for not understanding the WA economy and how we have so may people unemployed (including me in 2 weeks)that we are struggling to cope and this will only drive up the crime rate when men are subject to having NO Money and No Job, again! Thank you for your disregard for WA Men paying Child support.
Thank you Child Support for leaving me on HOLD for 25 mins wh Just curious, did you put down the telephone and walk up to your nearest lunchbar and have lunch and leave me on the other end, just waiting, waiting, waiting....?
Thank you Child Support for Killing My Brothers, my Aussie brothers who I'm sure ha enough of your bullshit and harassment and had taken there own lives because of mindless people like yourself. If I could have stopped this I would of, but now we have men in this country who have died because of your government department.
Australia is a Beautiful Country, but its Government agencies like the CSA/Centrelink that make this country hard to live...
Our governments are too weak to fix the underlying issue which is a fundamentally useless education system, so they pander to the likes of Rosie Batty by locking innocent men away.
So as I said, save your pennies for this battle, get the best lawyer that you can, shut your mouth and appear to behave like the dickless wonder that the world wants you to be. It might just work.
Get a work transfer overseas then stay there. Your family can't argue that you need a job to survive.
There's no way I would be able to represent myself in court again. I did that twice and I'd rather jump off a tall building than do that again
I find it hard to comprehend how a parent could even think like that and truly believe some people should never have children. This is certainly not the way I wanted my kids to be brought up to think it is ok to not contact a parent. I would have brought my kids up very differently.
The thing is most of us dads would actually do the right thing if the situation was reversed and the kids lived with us. Even if we were cheated on and the marriae ended by her which it was in my case, I would still make sure the kids were encouraged and free to contact their mum at anytime.
Now my kids are getting older and I have come a long way they stay over and their mum has always been free to have contact with them.
I was always told by people and didn't believe it, to bide my time, keep doing the right things, keep fighting for my kids and the kids will gravitate towards you.
This has actuallyhappened and I would not have believed it ever could. I now have some live every second weekend and some every second week by their choice. One is thinking of moving in full time.
The kids do see things for what they are as they grow up.
My mantra though is.... keep doing the right things, never bag the ex.
It has been hard in the past and I have said some dumb things out of frustration but it is not fair on the kids and they will remember when they are older.
I took annual leave before each court appearance, studied and organised myself totally. Then went in feeling confident and had answers ready for most scenarios.
I strongly suggest this. TO be able to do this however you need to have got eveything under control, be stable and be doing all the right things. No self sabotaging by saying or doing anything silly. Keep your head down, jump through whatever hoops are put in front of you. Yes it sucks but be the better person and deal with it calmly and with well thought out response.
Never reply to an email or text from your ex too quickly as your emotion will dictate mostly what you write back rather than a well condidered response.
Rise above it all, be polite, keep going.
You do not need a lawyer.
I don't want to go back to court again (last time was told to come back when things have changed significantly) but the ball-clencher is my family. They want me to fight and not stop fighting until I get my child. I lied and told them my application was rejected but my father wished to see papers so I used the same as last time but photoshopped parts of it to make it look legit. He took it to a lawyer who said he had no idea about it.
I'm very angry at the betrayal and interference when he has pushed me into this.
Can someone please tell me how to get him and my family to back off?
Can they apply to court instead? I don't want any part of it. I'm scared shittless that I'll go into massive debt with all of this. Last time I had to take time off work because of the stress. I don't want to do that again. It's so hard I want to die.
Please anyone help me get them to stop pushing me and let me live a calm life for a while at least
I actually wasn't aware of the impact that child support has on the fathers until being with my partner. Now I'm all for supporting your children but when it is $800 a month and the mother is refusing to work and perfectly capable to it is so frustrating and it weighs on us financially! They had an agreement where he would pay the school fees as child support and so he did in one lump sum of the first term and then she claimed he isn't paying etc.
The government doesn't care what debts we have to pay now and the more money he makes the more child support he pays and the more she just chooses not to work. It doesn't make him want to move up in the work force sometimes for this reason...
I fully support father4jusice and think that fathers should most certainly have equal rights to mothers like maternity leave time and the right to support their children the way they want! There children the way they wish to and for those who don't want to have anything to do with their child, should be treated the SAME way as the women who want the same thing and leave their child at the hospital or give them up for adoption or abort them even!
If I was a child of diveroce I would hate getting money from someone who was forced to and didn't want to don't anyway!
Was your DNA test a legal one? If not then get a court ordered legal DNA test asap. If it was a legal one then I'm afraid you're fucked mate. She's well and truly screwed you over. A judge won't order another test so you'd be best cutting your losses and moving on.
You could always do a DIY kit test yourself or forge your own negative results on the computer. I know a guy who did this to get ppl off his back about not paying child support. He just showed them his test results saying it wasn't his kid and they backed right off. He's a good guy and would of payed if the kid was his but he knew it wasn't
Even my wife and my mother don't consider me in this picture. IM IRELEVANT. I spent THOUSANDS of dollars and cried thousands of tears and had hundreds (felt like thousands) of sleepless nights because I was coerced into fighting my selfish bitch ex in court when its true what other men say that NOBODY cares about you if your a man. When I said I couldn't go on any longer I had no fight left in me and didn't want to go into DEBT for a BATTLE I COULD NEVER WIN both my wife and mother refused to speak to me unless it was asking if I changed my mind yet. I told BOTH to butt out as its MY children not theirs my business not theirs and they BOTH got mad with me.
My wife and I have separated because of the stress. This was the ONLY thing wrong in our relationship. We never had a fight before all this court stuff.
If my selfish bitch ex hadn't gone for CSA then I would of been with my wife happy forever. I would of NEVER gone to court for access but she went to court for csa first after months and months of NO contact.
My ex didn't consider me and didn't talk to me first. My wife didn't realise I never slept and cried all the time before I withdrawn from court just talked about HER stepchildren and how SHE felt about not spending time with HER babies and my mother just goes on about how it's HER grandchildren. Doesn't care it's my children and my right to choose if I go to court. Her and my wife would call each other BEHIND my back and manipulate me together. IM FUCKING FINISHED WITH FUCKING WOMEN TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. I hope my daughter grows up better than them all but being a woman she probably won't. All women are selfish bitches. Fucking selfish fucking cumstealing bitches
she can walk around the world for all i give a fuck"! Until we get a Minister for Men's AFFAIRS"!!! women can fuck off... i will use them when i need to. No walk a woman goes on will do men any good"!
im over the lying cheating bullshit that the "enemy"! dish up, just read the stories from the long lists not only on this webpage but many, the cunts dont even need us anymore they can buy cum and get pregnant anyway "!!! the fucking place is a "JOKE"!
DONT WASTE YOUR TIME
DONT WASTE YOUR MONEY
DONT WASTE YOUR BREATH
I applied for more jobs than I care to remember but it really only took 4 months of hard work and dedication from starting my search until I got offered a decent position. it would of been worth 4 years of jobsearching. I'm extremely happy now. Good luck to everyone else doing the same.
I wonder how quick the system would be revised if the blokes in paliment were in the same boat?
When my children turned 18 I sent them letters and this was after years of no contact. It explained everything all my reasons for not seeing them and all my love for them. I sent one again to my daughter on her 21st because I didn't hear back from her and suspected my ex intersected the letter the first one.
I have good relationships with my children and we spend time together regularly now that it's their decision. I don't have any regrets about how things happened because of what I have today and my daughter told me that they all appreceate NOT having stress during their childhood with parents fighting AND THEY THANK ME for that and RESPECT me for that.
I know how hard it is but the wait is WORTH it all