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  • Young men, women, kids and family
  • 14/07/2013 Make a Comment
  • Contributed by: Bill_Worth ( 1 article in 2013 )
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Seriously, why would a man these days ever want to get married or be in a defacto relationship with the way men, women and children are simply treated as extensions of the state.

In other words, upon entering a separation or divorce you may have little or no control of your family, assets, finances and even your own life including your personal bank accounts once the state is involved. Nothing is sacred, safe or off limits, including family trusts. What a despicable mess you may find yourself in - an Orwellian experience at best.

For at the whim of the mother, without rhyme or reason, your life as you once knew it, or expected, can change in a flash just like some magician had waved his magic wand causing your life to not only disappear but transform into a totally new existence. If you can hold on that is, and endure what many refer to as the rollercoaster ride of hell or likened to being dumped off your surfboard by a huge wave, not sure which way is up.

As the pounding forces of the sea keep you pinned below the water's surface in what seems an eternity, being tumbled around like popcorn in a pressure cooker, you wonder how long your breath will hold out and whether you will ever see daylight again.

So why do men still fall into this trap of marriage and family if the ground beneath them can be uncertain, unlike that of yesteryear prior 1975?

Do young men simply not think, care or know about the possible damaging effects that lay ahead from a unilateral decision of the mother that "it's over"?

Even if you believe you've been the best husband and father possible, sometimes it's just not enough, the ground below you will crumble.

When you're cast out from your family, without validity, fairness or common sense, don't necessarily expect a whole lot of support from extended families either yours or hers, else you maybe disappointed. Everyone has their own thoughts and views. As for the authorities, courts and many interconnected systems, these are unpredictable at best and damning to men at worst.

The best thing you can possibly do is come to terms with the shock and accept what's happened as quick as possible, gain all the knowledge you can about the circumstances you have found yourself in, be adaptable to change because it will slap you in the face with everything from the dark side, if you're not.

So what can young men do if you don't want to be another breakdown statistic??

Children, Finances & Assets

Well, while intimacy and nurturing benefits maybe pleasurable, children with the wrong person may land you in hot water with child support if you are a standard employee with a good income, and heartbreaking lack of control and blackmail conditions upon you if you have developed attachments to your children.

I've heard young men say it's all under control and before you know it, bingo, there's a baby on the way and a truck load of responsibility coming too. Trust is all too often given to the woman who says she is on the pill and she doesn't want kids for another 10 years due to her career and so forth, but these intentions whilst possibly well meaning are often weaker when compared with the primal female instincts and primary purpose of getting pregnant.

Rent if possible avoiding assets, unless you're happy to put your head in a noose. Equity in an owned home with kids can trigger a woman's insecurities and make you expendable.

When kids arrive what you perceive to be yours will become hers and the lawyers. Seek alternative arms length means for asset accrual and be aware the state has almost infinite powers under the family law act to sniff out and get your money from almost anywhere. Big brother is everywhere.

In concluding be single avoiding lengthy relationships that place you as defacto under local laws if you are financial, don't know yourself, don't know women and the one you are with, and aren't prepared to have all your hard work and life's savings thrown down the drain when you have done nothing wrong.

Ignorance in the eyes of the law with family and responsibility is no excuse.

Keep in mind there are plenty of beautiful women out there who have good values, are open and can be trusted, but attracting this type of person into your life will only come when you first come to know and trust yourself, having a set of rules that too include openness, honesty, giving and loving.

Good luck!

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