- Teens ponder custody puzzle
- By Paula Beauchamp, Social Trends Reporter
- The Herald Sun
- 22/11/2003 Make a Comment
- Contributed by: admin ( 75 articles in 2003 )
CHILDREN from separating families want more time with their fathers.
But the teen jury is out on joint custody.
A parliamentary inquiry, asked to consider equal-time residence, is due to report on December 31.
But a panel of teenagers from youth empowerment organisation Reach told INSIGHT they had concerns.
"I don't reckon it's realistic," said Reach trainee youth leader Jeremy Dooley, 18. "It would unsettle you and your world would change from week to week."
The Coburg boy, whose parents split when he was two, said the distance between his parents' homes would have made school travel impossible.
"You'd be uprooting all the time and you'd miss out on stuff from both sides of your life," he said.
Access weekend veteran Andrew Taylor, also 18, said shared residence would hit teenagers hard.
He stopped access weekends with his dad at 15 because it was "cramping his style" with friends and sport.
But Kirsten Emes, who rarely saw her dad, believes shared custody could force fathers to take more active roles.
"My dad wasn't in a financial position or stable enough to have us with him, but I wonder if it (shared care) might have forced him to be more like that," Kirsten, 18, said. "I wish my dad had tried harder to support me emotionally, get involved and come to my plays, because I don't know him now."
Jeremy, whose worst memories were of access visits falling through, said parents needed to be careful not to hurt their children.
"If he (dad) was meant to be coming around and it didn't happen . . . it made me sad," he said.
"I wanted to call him but didn't know where he was."
But if parents want to stay together simply for the children, the panel suggests they rethink.
"Living with the fights was hell," Andrew said.
"It's a memory that sticks with you, even if it happened when you were young."
Andrew also criticised the length of access weekends.
"Because you drop in every fortnight you can feel like a guest or a visitor," he said. "Time is important to the quality of your relationships.
"I was the `good boy' at dad's and the run-amok kid at mum's . . . now I'm looking at who I am."
But Andrew said years of contact visits had "laid the foundation" for a much closer relationship now.
Two other teenagers, who divide their time between their parents' neighbouring homes, said shared care worked well if both parents lived in the same street.
"But shifting between houses (in neighbouring suburbs) is annoying," said one.
But the teen jury is out on joint custody.
A parliamentary inquiry, asked to consider equal-time residence, is due to report on December 31.
But a panel of teenagers from youth empowerment organisation Reach told INSIGHT they had concerns.
"I don't reckon it's realistic," said Reach trainee youth leader Jeremy Dooley, 18. "It would unsettle you and your world would change from week to week."
The Coburg boy, whose parents split when he was two, said the distance between his parents' homes would have made school travel impossible.
"You'd be uprooting all the time and you'd miss out on stuff from both sides of your life," he said.
Access weekend veteran Andrew Taylor, also 18, said shared residence would hit teenagers hard.
He stopped access weekends with his dad at 15 because it was "cramping his style" with friends and sport.
But Kirsten Emes, who rarely saw her dad, believes shared custody could force fathers to take more active roles.
"My dad wasn't in a financial position or stable enough to have us with him, but I wonder if it (shared care) might have forced him to be more like that," Kirsten, 18, said. "I wish my dad had tried harder to support me emotionally, get involved and come to my plays, because I don't know him now."
Jeremy, whose worst memories were of access visits falling through, said parents needed to be careful not to hurt their children.
"If he (dad) was meant to be coming around and it didn't happen . . . it made me sad," he said.
"I wanted to call him but didn't know where he was."
But if parents want to stay together simply for the children, the panel suggests they rethink.
"Living with the fights was hell," Andrew said.
"It's a memory that sticks with you, even if it happened when you were young."
Andrew also criticised the length of access weekends.
"Because you drop in every fortnight you can feel like a guest or a visitor," he said. "Time is important to the quality of your relationships.
"I was the `good boy' at dad's and the run-amok kid at mum's . . . now I'm looking at who I am."
But Andrew said years of contact visits had "laid the foundation" for a much closer relationship now.
Two other teenagers, who divide their time between their parents' neighbouring homes, said shared care worked well if both parents lived in the same street.
"But shifting between houses (in neighbouring suburbs) is annoying," said one.
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