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- The Bulletin
- 11/02/2004 Make a Comment
- Contributed by: admin ( 100 articles in 2004 )
Divorce is most certainly a part of our life and lawyers are beaming.
John and Betty wish to announce their official separation after many years of marriage. Their break-up was recently conducted in the marital home and featured hurtful language, feelings of betrayal and anger and a lingering sense of loss. That event will be followed by several years of spiteful accusations, armies of belligerent, money-grabbing lawyers and a hellish journey through the family law system. Children and assets may be unfairly divided. Friends and family welcome to take sides.
If the world really was an honest place, the classified sections of weekend newspapers would boast a new category. Immediately following the listings for engagements and weddings would come the divorce section, a pungent reality check to balance out those misty pictures of white brides and suited grooms with bright-eyed expectations of living happily ever after.
Good luck to them. But in Australia these days, marriage is as much a case of unhappily ever after. Almost one in two weddings held last weekend around the nation are doomed to fail. And, as Diana Bagnall so compellingly reports in our cover story this week, it doesn't just end there.
The human heart only weighs about 400g, but it is a potent weapon when heavy and broken. It blinds logic and can demand endless revenge, which makes the business of breaking up such a complicated affair. The divorce process has been hijacked by the law, yet there is an increasingly held view that we may only have ourselves to blame for allowing this. "What I hear over and over is that separation is not primarily a legal event, but a human event," writes Bagnall. "So why don't we deal with it as such? Four out of five people who separate seek legal advice. While the principles of family law are that children's interests and well-being come first, lawyers aren't trained to resolve the complex emotional issues that cloud parents' minds and prevent them from doing that. Lawyers are trained to disengage people from their emotions, and get them to see reason."
John and Betty wish to announce their official separation after many years of marriage. Their break-up was recently conducted in the marital home and featured hurtful language, feelings of betrayal and anger and a lingering sense of loss. That event will be followed by several years of spiteful accusations, armies of belligerent, money-grabbing lawyers and a hellish journey through the family law system. Children and assets may be unfairly divided. Friends and family welcome to take sides.
If the world really was an honest place, the classified sections of weekend newspapers would boast a new category. Immediately following the listings for engagements and weddings would come the divorce section, a pungent reality check to balance out those misty pictures of white brides and suited grooms with bright-eyed expectations of living happily ever after.
Good luck to them. But in Australia these days, marriage is as much a case of unhappily ever after. Almost one in two weddings held last weekend around the nation are doomed to fail. And, as Diana Bagnall so compellingly reports in our cover story this week, it doesn't just end there.
The human heart only weighs about 400g, but it is a potent weapon when heavy and broken. It blinds logic and can demand endless revenge, which makes the business of breaking up such a complicated affair. The divorce process has been hijacked by the law, yet there is an increasingly held view that we may only have ourselves to blame for allowing this. "What I hear over and over is that separation is not primarily a legal event, but a human event," writes Bagnall. "So why don't we deal with it as such? Four out of five people who separate seek legal advice. While the principles of family law are that children's interests and well-being come first, lawyers aren't trained to resolve the complex emotional issues that cloud parents' minds and prevent them from doing that. Lawyers are trained to disengage people from their emotions, and get them to see reason."
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