The F4J Have Your Say area is simply a place for everyone where you get the Freedom, Peace, Love and Respect to share what's going on for you.
There is no right or wrong about what you say or how you say it
the main thing is you let it out!
So have your say, vent your spleen, say your peace, let your feelings, emotions and thoughts run free as opposed to bottling it up causing ill health in you and for others.
Chances are there is somebody relating to exactly what's happening or of concern to you. What you say may very well help others as well as yourself. Once we all realise we are not alone and we are all in this together in one form or another, as living men and women with fundamentally the same psychological and biological structure, a great sense of relief and peace can come from this knowing.
However, the only condition in this forum is we ask you not to identify family members by their true names. Not because of man made rules, fear or ignorance, but purely based on respect for yourself, your family and reasons of higher good, else you're free to let loose.
This Have Your Say section is an open forum and not censored as such giving you the freedom to let rip with whatever's on your mind.
So with all that out of the way.... Go straight to writing a comment now
So How do I keep going each day even though I feel like I get knocked to the ground each week?
The way I see it my ex will eventually will get caught out and have to pay the GOVT back or do jail time, the kids will grow up and realize their mother did everything to keep them from their father and dragged them from place to place with no stable family setting and that she robbed them of that. When their 18 she will stop getting family tax and CS and have to get a real job, she'll be 45 no real prospect so Id say she will spend the rest of her life working some dead end job waiting for the end. And we'll I truly believe I will have my kids back when they turn 18 and their mother no longer getting money for them. As adults,I will have a stable home for them to come back to, I will survive the next 5 years and be able to enjoy much awaited reunion, I will be able to guide them as adults and show the right from wrong.
So I have a lot to look forward to in the future as for now, I will keep going on because I know that one day I will have my kids back, for now I will speak with then as often as I can, try get to see them a couple of times a year and always let the know that their father is here for them.
So far she has already managed to go on one holiday and has booked another. Her redundancy won't be enough to piss it away like that without us ending up picking up the tab.
Does anyone have any good tips to prevent being screwed in this situation? I took a screenshot of first holiday trip reference in case we need to defend a COA early next year. I plan to do the same with holiday 2 references. I don't work full-time so that I can pick up the tab for her BS. I have my own 2 kids to pay for. Just feels like when you live in a household with two CSA assessments running you are fckd. At least you are if you are 1)honest and 2) want to get ahead. The ex has done a COA in the past so we are dealing with one of those entitled types unfortunately.
Any suggestions greatly appreciated.
Many may think this is paranoia but this is the final step to total corruption of our values and end of our society and family norms as we have come to know them.
Chaos & confusion will reign as identity is thrown to the wind. Distraction, debasement of humanity, depletion of wealth & loss of freedom & self determination will cease to flourish. Everything as we know it will be turned on its head. Our family heritage & genealogy will shrivel & become extinct in two to three generations.
Who is behind this sinister plot you wonder?
Whilst many feminists, man and traditional family hating trolls have infiltrated areas of government & key academic & other sectors of influence, the places to look for the real culprits of this latest engineering push would be those who would gain the most by the destruction of the normal man, woman & family unit.
The family unit, being the last bastion of hope, strength & salvation of our spirit, which has been under attack for decades, may eventually fall. The trinity -- Dad, Mum & child all gone. Hmmm...what's really at play here?
Im in the same boat as most of you dealing with CSA and the courts, im a fairly level headed bloke when it comes to this crap we deal with, if you are thinking on how to change things then you need to get behind your computers and start typing, i mean emails to politicians, emails to the DSS (Department of social services) they are the governing body on the legislation which creates this system. If all of us type our realistic problems without abuse :) then things will change. Dont be afraid to write to Pollies, i wrote an email to a conservative pollie and had a reply email in less than an hour with another reply to come and speak with him 3 days later. Just keep cool headed and think straight and keep it to realistic problems and it will work.
Im no expert im just a normal tradie!
I'm a newbie here but looking for an answer please.
My ex who I pay child support to, is hitting me up for extra stuff like school excursion fees. I thought child support was supposed to cover this and my ex duly budget properly for same. Am I being a bit mean spirited or reasonable in my concerns? Is there a legal opinion or formal answer on this? Obviously I will not let my young bloke miss out, but I don't want my ex thinking she can just hit me up for her poor financial skills (and she chooses not to work of course)! Many thanks.
1: even if a judge tells a mother "you have 21 days to provide the father with your concerns" she can "Legally" ignore that and wait till the 2nd court hearing to give her concerns.
2: even without any evidence against the father, the court cannot force the mother to do anything they can only encourage her to offer some care.
3: if a mother makes a false allegation against a father the court tells the father he can't sue her as he can only continue going to court.
4: legal aid only has enough money for lawyers to help his client for so long eg i am only getting 3 days in court with my lawyer but he told me you will need to be in court atleast 5 times b4 getting full weekend care plus school holidays! Thats not even 50/50 care lol
All 4 things were told to me in w.a. family court no bull shit!
If i had the money i could actually take this to the high court and organise a royal commision inquest with u.n. advice....these problems are actually against the rights agreed on at the u.n.
So many things in the movie will ring true with fathers. It (the facts), brought me and many others to tears knowing my extreme was not a sole case.
Here are some guys who helped me over time:
Cassie Jaye - (The Red Pill producer) mature, kind and wise beyond her years
The Enlightened Kiwi https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDRhy5G0TGF0nHdMjSH2E6w
Diana Davison and her great work for an unfair justice system
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVRQqUgDRBevsDGOeE1DL3A
The Sandman, Spetsnaz, babar, all great speakers. There are many more but these are easily found on youtube and will certainly let you know you are not alone.
I can also add, try the obvious and attempt to get out of 'the system'. There are ruthless agendas out there you simply need to open your eyes to.
I read so much and am one who also experiences the discriminatory aggression from CSA. They consistently lie (i got an apology out of them for that!) They don't understand their own policies, they are taught to take one parents side of the dispute and persecute the other and they don't know how to reason? I earn a small wage, my former wife earns slightly less, I was unemployed from july 2016 to sept 2016 and she was employed yet i paid maintenance despite our split in August 2016, unfair or sexist or both? I could not reason with them and ended up paying back dated maintenance. That hurt!
My former wife verbally committed to not wanting maintenance payments at first but once they started be banked she backflipped. She has capacity to earn a very good wage as a chef because of her trade but verbally admitted it would affect her entitlements so she works a basic admin job and sponges off me.
I pay for the school uniforms, school excursions, school intersports days, camps and any other school fees. I paid for kids counseling after our split, I am the one taking kids to the dr's, chiropractor and physio. I am the one paying for out of hours tuition, sports fees. She just sends them to school sick and then the teachers ring me to take them home to be cared for. The CSA saga would've been avoided if I had the same treatment as her. When I applied for family tax benefits after the split I had to prove our split and have a child support agreement in place, so i naively contacted CSA. She only had to deal with centrelink as she was registered as the the primary care giver in our marriage and didn't need to provide a child support agreement, go figure that sexist crap out?
I've had enough, can someone tell me if there is any politicians who are seriously looking into having CSA rebuilt from top to toe? 4 men a week who commit suicide can be traced back to CSA. We need to act!
I am sorry to hear so many stories of pain and misery.. It is very dismaying to hear that the system which is supposed to protect children, is the very system which is enabling the abuse.
I, like so many of you am unable to communicate in anyway with the people I care most about.. For me, it is worse than bereavement, as I know everyday that they are alive and well. To say I miss talking with them, would be a vast understatement...
As I am running out of money, I will shortly be self representing:/
I wondered if anyone would be able to help with templates of affidavits, etc
Any help, or guidance will be greatly appreciated
Stay strong fellas, as our children will one day need our strength
Steve
The only thing that has maintained my sanity is tomalways think what is best for my kids. Not easy to do when you testicles are in a vice and the ex-wife is turning the screw, but worth it in the end.
I'm back in court tomorrow fighting for parenting orders. The vile little serpent ensured that everything that I had built is gone via a ridiculously managed property settlement. Only the lawyers benefited out of the entire two year process ( STO LAW and Leisa Toomey scored $110,000), and the halfwit judge swept my application for parenting orders under the carpet.
Tonight I spent another two hours doing a court imposed anger management course, completely mind-numbing, and next Wednesday I'll wander off to community service for the day...just 120 hours to go.
The message here...don't wait for this shit to happen to you, spend a long time planning your escape and make sure that you have your shit in a pile. The odds are, your ex will behave like mine and thousands of others and the system will encourage them to taking a large thorny object and shove it deep into your arse....then you'll know your fucked.
any help appreciated
Thx
Deputy Secretary-payments reform Mr John Murphy
Deputy Secretary-Service Delivery Operations Mr Barry Jackson
Deputy Secretary-Program Design Dr Jill Charker
Deputy Secretary-Enabling Services Mr Jonathan Hutson
Deputy Secretary-Integrity and Information Ms Malisa Golightly
Sorry but that last one just gave me the best laugh in a while.. Not enough of one and too much of the other.
POSTAL ADDRESS
PO Box 7788 Canberra Business Centre ACT 2610
TELEPHONE
(02) 6155 7788
If you want to inform this feminist of the standout job shes doing destroying people's lives fire away
My husband pays child maintenance for a child his ex wife is collecting money for. What is the best way to protect my income & assets from the CSA? We've been advised to set up a Family Trust but I can't find info re whether or not we should set up a Company or each work under our own ABN with monies going into the Trust.
Anyone help me please?
Regards
Laurie
If you want to have any with your current wife you better be a fucking billionaire because csa will let them go without even when your ex remarries and has 4 more kids because the first one/s are the only one that counts
Hi to your great dads who have not been given the chance to rebute any accusations that herself has offered. I am a Mother of a son who was issued with as vro which was unfounded and was unable to refute any of what was said in the Court because of the lies and innuendos by his ex. I know for a fact that his ex had defrauded the business of many thousands of dollars, she even told me so, and said she had a plan to get rid of her husband. since this time as a grandparent my husband and I have not been able to see our grandchildren for the past 11 months, and even though I used my son's phone, he was issued with a warrant, even though I had made a statement to the Police it was me who wrote the message to the grandies. It appears that as grandparents we are not allowed to see the grandies unless we (my husband and I), go to Court and spend several dollars and lawyers to have an Order for us to see the children. As pensioners and with living in a rural country town, distance is another factor, however it appears that we are on our own, and we will have to wait until the children are at an age they can choose to see us. It is terrible breach of respect and honesty towards grandparents, and I believe that if any of you have parents and grandparents, for goodness sake read all the convoluted Family Court brochures and do not under any circumstances try and contact any of the grandies if it is for your son, because the grandparents are the third party and the ex will contact the Police to take out a warrant for your son's arrest, this is the truth, we have had this happen twice. Recently in the media, there is too much advertised about how easy it is to take out a VRO, even to the extent from the Police point of view, a woman can get a VRO for the word "fear". Our son has been through the greatest hell one could imagine, but reading many of your stories, I believe you feel the same way. Don't you think it is time that us parents, grandparents started an "awareness campaign" to bring about justice for the MEN. REMEMBER IT TOOK TWO PEOPLE TO HAVE CHILDREN, why do these women demand and demand what they say is their rights, when they are the mental abusers and mental diminishes of the children, how they can manipulate the children to their own gains and lie and want all the assets and then claim huge assistance from the government and other agencies. I am incensed as to where the SYSTEM will go, but it is time for all to stand and voice their opinions. Remember how easy it is to say DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FOR WOMEN what about DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FOR MEN. Make a stand you guys, ask for help from the proper authorities, then if they don't help, go to the newspapers, radio and other media outlets, even FACEBOOK.
I am concerned as a Mother and Grandparent that our children and grandchildren will become more and more hardened by society and therefore lose their ability to think clearly with respect and honesty.
I rest my case.
A loving Mother and Grandparent.
IF I GOTTA GO BACK TO COURT ONE MORE TIME IMMA KILL MYSELF (no jks)
No recognition is given to the fact the we are driven insane by the injustice of Australian Family Law, and that, where we start out as rational human beings, 3 years of court cases, where the judge / magistrate immediately accepts the wildest unsubstantiated accusations, based on the mere allegation of a woman (the supposed "victim"), will eventually drive anyone out of their mind.
Screaming & shouting doesn't work & is counterproductive.
Pointing out the injustice, is like farting in the wind
For the past 4 years I have been used as a punching bag, where I'm taking constant blows, & can't raise my hands in defence, because that's what they're hoping for - to give substance to their accusations & they can say "I told you so"
Well, my family has been destroyed, my children, whom I've always loved with all my heart, have been convinced that I'm a monster in disguise, and my love (of more than 10 yrs) was merely a cover or facade, while I was waiting to abuse them - she got this right with an "interim" IVO, which lasted for 3.5 years and was due to carry on for another 5, and where, on final Appeal, the County Court Judge said that there was never any reason for the Order in the first place.
Having isolated me from my children, she then refused to allow them contact with any of "my" side of their family ..... for 4 years, while she pumped their minds full of poison!!!
Well, my family is destroyed & I have been badly hurt & I want to strike out ..... at who, though, cause the (in)justice system is faceless, with each individual saying that they're just doing their job & refusing to accept responsibility for the damage
Well, I'm on the point of assigning responsibility - ANYBODY who is part of the system!!!!
I tried talking & reasoning, it doesn't help.
An eye for an eye, is what I believe - this whole, so called, "civilised" process, is corrupt and designed to hurt men (and, by so doing, destroy the lives of children)
Great advice Neil thank's mate..
Will please mate if you need a chat and to be able to vent some of the shit your going through call me
0419926521 more than happy mate to help.
Remember bud you are not alone.
My F'n Demon just tried to have me arrested again for a text that my Mother (the kids Grandmother) send my x 4 kids on my phone..
Keep up the fight Will, we are here for you mate.
DJ great idea mate I'm onto them too, keep up the fight mate.
Remember everyone if you need a chat about anything call me or text me and I will get back to you.
It's only together that we will have a voice for change...
Be strong everyone...
Shane
copy of the email to the minister for Human (Sacrifice) resources
Your killing us and we know you know you are!!
Minister Alan,
You need to change your title to Minister for Human Suicides Mate!!
This disgusting horrible system/industry that you have created through what you do and the Industry of PARENTAL ALIENATION through the so called "family court" is killing many many people.
You look like quite a bright man however I'm sure that you have either been blinded or held back by the ones making the money from this atrocious system/industry to keep your mouth shut.
If I can please ask you to grow some balls and help fix this one sided shit system or stand the hell down and let someone else fix it.
HUMAN SERVICES --- BULL SHIT MATE
GROW UP AND REALLY TRY TO HELP WILL YOU!!
OR OPEN THE FUNERAL PARLOR AND MAKE MORE MONEY AT THE EXPENSE OF OUR CHILDREN AND THE ALIENATED PARENT..
Your CSA should stand for Child Separation and Abuse ( or Alienation of parents) not Child support that's F'n just bullshit.!!!!
So resign or f'n help mate.
Shane
Perth WA
Fuck'm send one too will ya!!
Stay strong mate.
Do what you can for you!! Mate your kids will find out the truth and come back from the dark side.
We have all seen this so many times they always come back to the right side.
Just give them all the love you can when you do see them and they know mate who is the victim in what happened to you, me and all the other poor buggers out there, they know.
Sometimes it takes a bit of reprogramming but they do know the truth deep down mate, deep down they do.
They feel your love and your protection and they do know you will always be there for them.
We still have to nurcher our little ones into functioning loving humans.
You need to make and keep them close as you can when you see them to fend off the poison but you can with your love mate.
Your kids love you you know that.
This fuck'n horrible system/industry is designed or has been to make you a Monster.
You know who you are!!
It's time to make a stand.
I've started
I've had calls back from the CSA and are so called human resources social worker department asking after my email I sent to them if I was suicidal and They seem to be disappointed because I wasn't.
Stand up mate turn that Mad As Hell Anger to a positive for the poor baste reds that are fighting the Demond's now and in the future.
Fuck'm stand up.
Remember the CSA stands for Child Seperation and Abuse
They have Absolutly no idea and don't care about what they do to anyone.(kids included.
The family abuse court is also under the system/ management.
As we all know.
Look out I'm coming !! Who's with me??
Shane
0419926521
Perth
Call me for a chat mates if you need a boost.
Stay Strong, Be mad as hell!!
If I keep fighting I will have nothing and I will be nothing but depressed and broke. My kids are 8, and 5. I've been fighting for 3.5 years, and getting nowhere. I currently have no access. In a few years, my eldest might want to live with me tho and can decide for himself, without my ex's influence.
Ive come to the conclusion that there is no sense in fighting, and wasting my money. I will use it to make a life for me, and my kids.
I got the VRO thing couldn't see my 4 kids at Christmas.,
She never worked a day but was more than happy to give give her father a heap of it and buy him a car.
I got the VRO on our 16th wedding anniversary but just after she transferred all the money from the joint account into an account in her own name.
My youngest is only 4 and I know I have a huge fight still to come with this deceitful Demon.
We all know the system/industry is not there to help the Dad's.
All the best to everyone for 2017
Be strong and fight on Hard
Shane
Perth
I'm not able to see my 4 young kids at Christmas but we will have our own Christmas when I see them.(under supervision because of the vexatious X)
Stand up and change your pain to a positive!!
Be mad as fuck'n hell, I am however I'm using my pain and grief to ruffle the feathers of the establishment (the powers that be)
So far after my emails to the minister (and other politicians, Pauline Hanson's is below) for so called human services I've had a councilor call and someone from the CSA.
Now I'm told I'm getting a call from the Attorney Generals office to discuss my concerns.
All I did was spell out the truth to them and what they are doing to us as fathers and parents and the child abuse that they are creating and forcing onto our innocent children.
Copy here of what I sent
Your killing us faster than the road toll!!!
Hi Pauline
Can’t believe the family court system and the court system in general and how a woman (wife) can steal all your money and cover it up with a VRO and then play the system with lies and manipulation.
It’s a long story but to say my 4 young kids are pawns and weapons used to try to drive me to suicide I’m sure is her hope to cover up what she did.
The lawyers say there is nothing you can do as she got the VRO first. That ruined my business and my life (as I working from a home office).
Just found out in WA you can get a VRO now if you have a fear of someone. Don’t need proof.
I managed to get my kids off the VRO but she is still on it and now she has made application to the family court of a notice of child abuse or family violence. Never was any violence.
I cannot believe the lies and the twisted half truths that she can say and get away with it.
What can someone do to help me and all the other poor men that are killing themselves because of this system.
There are some sites like this but it’s mainly venting about the system .
http://www.f4joz.com/
Please help us Pauline
Shane from Perth
0419 926 521
Why do fathers always gotta pay for children we get refused access to and no say in the life or name of? Huh? Some1 answer me that cos I don't fucking understand it
Fuck them all
Fuck CSA
Fuck the courts
Fuck my ex
Fuck the judge
Fuck the lawyers
Fuck Having a life
Fuck my mental health
Fuck it all
Shoulda never paid these fuckers to start with. I'm locked in for eternity and can't do fucking shit to better my life. Fuckers.
What all the people in this twisted disgusting system need to remember is its an "industry".And no one gives a fuck if you don't get to see your kids and you starve to death.
The system still makes the money.
We have all been played like suckers for ever with this corrupt shit.It's time to wake up people, there is no God, it's all bllshit, yes that's right, all of it is bullshit and no one gives a shit..
Perhaps it's time for a revolt
How many gov jobs are created here for people that should be in full time care?? Their a bunch of under educated
FUCK WHITS!!
We would all agree I'm sure that they would be unemployable in the real world, if you have any doubt about that just go to a Centerlink and have a look at the staff thats what your dealing with at the C__t's S__t's and Arsholes!!!
D,C"s all round for sure, it looks like an adult day care center for the retarded.
I've been screwed from the pointy end of the pineapple and she is now going to go for spousal maintenance even though I'm not working. She can make up any crapp she wants and they believe her. She had a VRO taken out to remove me from the home/home office destroyed the bus we had and forced me into taking a small % of our assets.
Who ever gets the VRO first wins!!
That what the Fuck'n useless lawyers say anyway.
Tell them to AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SG Perth