A vitally important place to air your emotions, how you feel and what you think!

The F4J Have Your Say area is simply a place for everyone where you get the Freedom, Peace, Love and Respect to share what's going on for you.

There is no right or wrong about what you say or how you say it —
the main thing is you let it out!

So have your say, vent your spleen, say your peace, let your feelings, emotions and thoughts run free as opposed to bottling it up causing ill health in you and for others.

Chances are there is somebody relating to exactly what's happening or of concern to you. What you say may very well help others as well as yourself. Once we all realise we are not alone and we are all in this together in one form or another, as living men and women with fundamentally the same psychological and biological structure, a great sense of relief and peace can come from this knowing.

However, the only condition in this forum is we ask you not to identify family members by their true names. Not because of man made rules, fear or ignorance, but purely based on respect for yourself, your family and reasons of higher good, else you're free to let loose.

This Have Your Say section is an open forum and not censored as such giving you the freedom to let rip with whatever's on your mind.

So with all that out of the way.... Go straight to writing a comment now

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7
It Affects everyone - By:Simone from WA, Australia on November 14, 2017 @ 2:11 am

Hi to your great dads who have not been given the chance to rebute any accusations that herself has offered. I am a Mother of a son who was issued with as vro which was unfounded and was unable to refute any of what was said in the Court because of the lies and innuendos by his ex. I know for a fact that his ex had defrauded the business of many thousands of dollars, she even told me so, and said she had a plan to get rid of her husband. since this time as a grandparent my husband and I have not been able to see our grandchildren for the past 11 months, and even though I used my son's phone, he was issued with a warrant, even though I had made a statement to the Police it was me who wrote the message to the grandies. It appears that as grandparents we are not allowed to see the grandies unless we (my husband and I), go to Court and spend several dollars and lawyers to have an Order for us to see the children. As pensioners and with living in a rural country town, distance is another factor, however it appears that we are on our own, and we will have to wait until the children are at an age they can choose to see us. It is terrible breach of respect and honesty towards grandparents, and I believe that if any of you have parents and grandparents, for goodness sake read all the convoluted Family Court brochures and do not under any circumstances try and contact any of the grandies if it is for your son, because the grandparents are the third party and the ex will contact the Police to take out a warrant for your son's arrest, this is the truth, we have had this happen twice. Recently in the media, there is too much advertised about how easy it is to take out a VRO, even to the extent from the Police point of view, a woman can get a VRO for the word "fear". Our son has been through the greatest hell one could imagine, but reading many of your stories, I believe you feel the same way. Don't you think it is time that us parents, grandparents started an "awareness campaign" to bring about justice for the MEN. REMEMBER IT TOOK TWO PEOPLE TO HAVE CHILDREN, why do these women demand and demand what they say is their rights, when they are the mental abusers and mental diminishes of the children, how they can manipulate the children to their own gains and lie and want all the assets and then claim huge assistance from the government and other agencies. I am incensed as to where the SYSTEM will go, but it is time for all to stand and voice their opinions. Remember how easy it is to say DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FOR WOMEN what about DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FOR MEN. Make a stand you guys, ask for help from the proper authorities, then if they don't help, go to the newspapers, radio and other media outlets, even FACEBOOK.
I am concerned as a Mother and Grandparent that our children and grandchildren will become more and more hardened by society and therefore lose their ability to think clearly with respect and honesty.
I rest my case.
A loving Mother and Grandparent.
9
Fuck this shit - By:Harry from NSW, AU on March 22, 2017 @ 1:48 pm
Everyone saying the courts are BIASED are correct. It ain't worth it!!!!!!
IF I GOTTA GO BACK TO COURT ONE MORE TIME IMMA KILL MYSELF (no jks)
7
Ranting & raving - By:Brick from Vic, Aus on October 16, 2017 @ 1:24 am
We can rant & rave about the injustice of the Family Court system, as much as we want - it achieves nothing positive and merely provides those Aholes in the (in)Justice System to point a finger and say "point proven, how can you allow someone who rants like that near a child .... & he's ranting about the effect on him, not on the children ..."

No recognition is given to the fact the we are driven insane by the injustice of Australian Family Law, and that, where we start out as rational human beings, 3 years of court cases, where the judge / magistrate immediately accepts the wildest unsubstantiated accusations, based on the mere allegation of a woman (the supposed "victim"), will eventually drive anyone out of their mind.

Screaming & shouting doesn't work & is counterproductive.

Pointing out the injustice, is like farting in the wind

For the past 4 years I have been used as a punching bag, where I'm taking constant blows, & can't raise my hands in defence, because that's what they're hoping for - to give substance to their accusations & they can say "I told you so"

Well, my family has been destroyed, my children, whom I've always loved with all my heart, have been convinced that I'm a monster in disguise, and my love (of more than 10 yrs) was merely a cover or facade, while I was waiting to abuse them - she got this right with an "interim" IVO, which lasted for 3.5 years and was due to carry on for another 5, and where, on final Appeal, the County Court Judge said that there was never any reason for the Order in the first place.

Having isolated me from my children, she then refused to allow them contact with any of "my" side of their family ..... for 4 years, while she pumped their minds full of poison!!!

Well, my family is destroyed & I have been badly hurt & I want to strike out ..... at who, though, cause the (in)justice system is faceless, with each individual saying that they're just doing their job & refusing to accept responsibility for the damage

Well, I'm on the point of assigning responsibility - ANYBODY who is part of the system!!!!

I tried talking & reasoning, it doesn't help.

An eye for an eye, is what I believe - this whole, so called, "civilised" process, is corrupt and designed to hurt men (and, by so doing, destroy the lives of children)

6
Well done everyone!! (on the CSA banner) - By:SG66 from WA, Australia on April 20, 2017 @ 5:26 am
Well done everyone!!

Great advice Neil thank's mate..

Will please mate if you need a chat and to be able to vent some of the shit your going through call me
0419926521 more than happy mate to help.
Remember bud you are not alone.

My F'n Demon just tried to have me arrested again for a text that my Mother (the kids Grandmother) send my x 4 kids on my phone..
Keep up the fight Will, we are here for you mate.

DJ great idea mate I'm onto them too, keep up the fight mate.

Remember everyone if you need a chat about anything call me or text me and I will get back to you.

It's only together that we will have a voice for change...

Be strong everyone...

Shane
7
Your killing us and we know you know it! - By:SG66 from WA, Australia on April 20, 2017 @ 5:27 am
Hay everyone
copy of the email to the minister for Human (Sacrifice) resources

Your killing us and we know you know you are!!

Minister Alan,

You need to change your title to Minister for Human Suicides Mate!!

This disgusting horrible system/industry that you have created through what you do and the Industry of PARENTAL ALIENATION through the so called "family court" is killing many many people.
You look like quite a bright man however I'm sure that you have either been blinded or held back by the ones making the money from this atrocious system/industry to keep your mouth shut.
If I can please ask you to grow some balls and help fix this one sided shit system or stand the hell down and let someone else fix it.
HUMAN SERVICES --- BULL SHIT MATE
GROW UP AND REALLY TRY TO HELP WILL YOU!!
OR OPEN THE FUNERAL PARLOR AND MAKE MORE MONEY AT THE EXPENSE OF OUR CHILDREN AND THE ALIENATED PARENT..
Your CSA should stand for Child Separation and Abuse ( or Alienation of parents) not Child support that's F'n just bullshit.!!!!

So resign or f'n help mate.

Shane
Perth WA

Fuck'm send one too will ya!!
6
Hay Mates -- Keep up the fight - By:SG 66 from Wa, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:42 pm
Hay Michael
Stay strong mate.
Do what you can for you!! Mate your kids will find out the truth and come back from the dark side.
We have all seen this so many times they always come back to the right side.
Just give them all the love you can when you do see them and they know mate who is the victim in what happened to you, me and all the other poor buggers out there, they know.
Sometimes it takes a bit of reprogramming but they do know the truth deep down mate, deep down they do.
They feel your love and your protection and they do know you will always be there for them.
We still have to nurcher our little ones into functioning loving humans.
You need to make and keep them close as you can when you see them to fend off the poison but you can with your love mate.
Your kids love you you know that.
This fuck'n horrible system/industry is designed or has been to make you a Monster.
You know who you are!!
It's time to make a stand.
I've started
I've had calls back from the CSA and are so called human resources social worker department asking after my email I sent to them if I was suicidal and They seem to be disappointed because I wasn't.
Stand up mate turn that Mad As Hell Anger to a positive for the poor baste reds that are fighting the Demond's now and in the future.
Fuck'm stand up.
Remember the CSA stands for Child Seperation and Abuse
They have Absolutly no idea and don't care about what they do to anyone.(kids included.
The family abuse court is also under the system/ management.
As we all know.
Look out I'm coming !! Who's with me??

Shane
0419926521
Perth
Call me for a chat mates if you need a boost.
Stay Strong, Be mad as hell!!

8
2017 - By:Michael from NSW, AUSTRALIA on March 22, 2017 @ 1:48 pm
Next year I am giving up fighting and going to make a life for when my kids are older.
If I keep fighting I will have nothing and I will be nothing but depressed and broke. My kids are 8, and 5. I've been fighting for 3.5 years, and getting nowhere. I currently have no access. In a few years, my eldest might want to live with me tho and can decide for himself, without my ex's influence.
Ive come to the conclusion that there is no sense in fighting, and wasting my money. I will use it to make a life for me, and my kids.
2
330. Fight hard -- Stay strong - By:SG66 from WA, Australia on January 8, 2017 @ 11:02 pm
Steve mate were we married to the same Demon??
I got the VRO thing couldn't see my 4 kids at Christmas.,
She never worked a day but was more than happy to give give her father a heap of it and buy him a car.
I got the VRO on our 16th wedding anniversary but just after she transferred all the money from the joint account into an account in her own name.

My youngest is only 4 and I know I have a huge fight still to come with this deceitful Demon.

We all know the system/industry is not there to help the Dad's.
All the best to everyone for 2017

Be strong and fight on Hard

Shane

Perth
5
Untouchable - By:Steve from WA, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:45 pm
So the usual expected drama. Went to pick up the kids at the agreed time on xmas eve. Was told by the mum to go away and come back in a few hours. Then was expected to bring them back earlier on xmas day. All along with some ridiculous heated discussion from the ex. This drama is a way of life for her. 5 more years of this, my kids are all 18 then her power dissapears. Imagine the power she must feel. It has been 5 years since our split, since she cheated, planned the whole seperation well in advance, how she lied to everyone, lied to police, lied in court to take out a VRO. Imagine feeling like you could get away with anything. Decide when the kids see their dad or not. Cancel visits (yes dads get visits whilst mums get to still live with their kids). It must have been like winning lotto. Not working hardly a day in her life. Wonder around with a Gloria Jeans cup in her hand while I am am working hard for the family. Instead of working herself, has too much time to think insecure thoughts etc. Plan a seperation, cheat, get the 6 bed house, contents, car, money, kids, dog. Husband out with nothing, followed by a VRO. Then comes the playing god when he can see the kids. The abuse by the boyfriends of her from day 1 of you leaving. Being punched in the head in front of your kids. But wait can a male get a VRO when actual not imagined events have happened. NO. Violence in front of kids, death threats, threats to visit my home yet I do not get a VRO out on her. Oh my god the power she must feel. She can do no wrong. She do anything and get away with it. I will end up leaving Australia purely because of this being ok with our government departments. When my kids are 18 the powere dissapears from that woman. SHe will be left wondering what to do now she still has no reasonable job, she did not actually contribute to her kids financially, she effectively abused her children by controlling contact with their dad. This story and ones like it play out day after day after day to endless numbers of unsuspecting good dads. You have no idea what is going to hit you. People that plan this shit are pure evil. Karma will come for them.
2
Stay STRONG everyone!! - By:SG66 from WA, Australia on January 17, 2017 @ 11:07 am
I know it's a really shit time of year.(Call or text me if you need a chat or a venting session over Christmas, my number is below, happy to chat.)
I'm not able to see my 4 young kids at Christmas but we will have our own Christmas when I see them.(under supervision because of the vexatious X)
Stand up and change your pain to a positive!!
Be mad as fuck'n hell, I am however I'm using my pain and grief to ruffle the feathers of the establishment (the powers that be)
So far after my emails to the minister (and other politicians, Pauline Hanson's is below) for so called human services I've had a councilor call and someone from the CSA.
Now I'm told I'm getting a call from the Attorney Generals office to discuss my concerns.
All I did was spell out the truth to them and what they are doing to us as fathers and parents and the child abuse that they are creating and forcing onto our innocent children.
Copy here of what I sent

Your killing us faster than the road toll!!!

Hi Pauline

Can’t believe the family court system and the court system in general and how a woman (wife) can steal all your money and cover it up with a VRO and then play the system with lies and manipulation.

It’s a long story but to say my 4 young kids are pawns and weapons used to try to drive me to suicide I’m sure is her hope to cover up what she did.

The lawyers say there is nothing you can do as she got the VRO first. That ruined my business and my life (as I working from a home office).

Just found out in WA you can get a VRO now if you have a fear of someone. Don’t need proof.

I managed to get my kids off the VRO but she is still on it and now she has made application to the family court of a notice of child abuse or family violence. Never was any violence.

I cannot believe the lies and the twisted half truths that she can say and get away with it.

What can someone do to help me and all the other poor men that are killing themselves because of this system.

There are some sites like this but it’s mainly venting about the system .

http://www.f4joz.com/

Please help us Pauline

Shane from Perth

0419 926 521


10
In the name of the father? - By:Taylor J. from Nsw, Australia on October 16, 2017 @ 1:26 am
I just been told that my child will never get my surname and prolly never live with me not even shared care arangement. What happened to in the name of the father? Every lawyer say the same thing wich is if I want my only child to have my surname it basically ain't gunna happen unless the mother agrees and they r sure she ain't ever gunna agree.
Why do fathers always gotta pay for children we get refused access to and no say in the life or name of? Huh? Some1 answer me that cos I don't fucking understand it
13
Fuck it all - By:Ryan from Qld, Australia on December 26, 2019 @ 6:14 am
Fuck it all
Fuck them all
Fuck CSA
Fuck the courts
Fuck my ex
Fuck the judge
Fuck the lawyers
Fuck Having a life
Fuck my mental health
Fuck it all
13
That's it. I'm done. - By:Distraught father from Nsw , Aust. on December 26, 2019 @ 6:14 am
It's that time of year again when the sharks (CSA and ex wives) hunt us fathers down for cash, we get reminded that we don't matter, we get reminded that next year won't be any better and we'll prolly never own a house because the sharks and lawyers and courts don't care about us. Everyone is just after our cash.
17
Can't get nowhere in life - By:Patrick from WA, Australia on December 26, 2019 @ 6:14 am
Thanks to CSA I can't get nowhere in life. Job doesn't pay good enugh to survive on and pay child support but nobody gives a fuck. Can't do further study to get a better job because that would mean earning less temporarly and CSA ain't having any of that shit. Rent and living cost stays the same but money would be less but that don't matter to these fuckers.
Shoulda never paid these fuckers to start with. I'm locked in for eternity and can't do fucking shit to better my life. Fuckers.
7
Fuck'm, the thieving retarded bastards. - By:SG from WA, Australia on December 26, 2019 @ 6:15 am
TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF!!

What all the people in this twisted disgusting system need to remember is its an "industry".And no one gives a fuck if you don't get to see your kids and you starve to death.
The system still makes the money.

We have all been played like suckers for ever with this corrupt shit.It's time to wake up people, there is no God, it's all bllshit, yes that's right, all of it is bullshit and no one gives a shit..
Perhaps it's time for a revolt
How many gov jobs are created here for people that should be in full time care?? Their a bunch of under educated
FUCK WHITS!!
We would all agree I'm sure that they would be unemployable in the real world, if you have any doubt about that just go to a Centerlink and have a look at the staff thats what your dealing with at the C__t's S__t's and Arsholes!!!
D,C"s all round for sure, it looks like an adult day care center for the retarded.
I've been screwed from the pointy end of the pineapple and she is now going to go for spousal maintenance even though I'm not working. She can make up any crapp she wants and they believe her. She had a VRO taken out to remove me from the home/home office destroyed the bus we had and forced me into taking a small % of our assets.
Who ever gets the VRO first wins!!
That what the Fuck'n useless lawyers say anyway.
Tell them to AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SG Perth
4
ONE NATION"S TO SCRAP CSA ALTOGETHER" - By:lenny from N.T., Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:50 pm
G'day you mob out there, i just read "One Nations" Proposed child support Policies, i would recommend you take the time to read them, i don't trust anyone anymore myself after years of abuse a lot at the hands of "CSA!" but i was slightly encouraged by what i read ... if what they are proposing comes to fruition then things will be a lot better, we live in hope, have a read"!
5
Becuase we are male - By:DM from WA, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:50 pm
The reason this will never change is because we are male.
It is an unfortunate fact. I am not a woman hater or sexist, I love women. The fact is though men will always be the expendable people in society, the ones never taken seriously if they are victims of domestic violence. No one ever believes a man. A woman accuses a man and there will be police, VRO's handed out no problem. I applied for a VRO after being puched in the head in fornt of my kids, not fighting back, not saying anthing back. No VRO granted. SOme years ago at seperation, the ex makes up some story, bang VRO on me. I wouldn't hurt a fly, never hurt anyone in my life. In fact she was the only violent one in our marriage.
Men of Australia, we are screwed.You will be forced to see your kids very little at the immense power put in the hands of your ex. You will be broke by doing the right thing and paying child support. You will watch her think she is winning by going on holidays, barely working, keeping you poor whilst contributing little herself to the kids upbringing.
But ask yourself, who would you rather be. The stand up citizen with morals, work ethic, standards or the sneaky cheating shallow being.
Smile because you are doing the right things that count.
Karma is a real thing and it started a while ago now for me and it keeps getting better for the things that really count. Dad and his kids.
6
320. Fight for what is right! - By:Paul Siegman from Victoria , Australia on October 16, 2017 @ 1:26 am
Why can't everyone help fix this! I am loosing grip of my home, they are taking so much!
Everyone knows and agrees the whole system requires a total update.
So who is going to disagree with 80% of Australia? It is wrong! It must be made right, True and Just! Get together Australia!!!
10
Thank you Child Support Agency !!!! - By:John from WA, Australia on October 16, 2017 @ 1:27 am
Thank you Child Support for taking all my savings!
Thank you Child Support for taking so much money out of my salary I have little to live on and support myself.
Thank you Child Support for giving all my money to a woman I have spoken to or had contact with for 19 years
Thank you Child Support for ignoring my plead to not take my money because my company is making people redundant in December 2016...but you took all the money anyhow!
Thank you Child Support for not realising that the lady you are giving all my money too is rich, whilst I'm living week to week.
Thank you Child Support for not understanding the WA economy and how we have so may people unemployed (including me in 2 weeks)that we are struggling to cope and this will only drive up the crime rate when men are subject to having NO Money and No Job, again! Thank you for your disregard for WA Men paying Child support.
Thank you Child Support for leaving me on HOLD for 25 mins wh Just curious, did you put down the telephone and walk up to your nearest lunchbar and have lunch and leave me on the other end, just waiting, waiting, waiting....?
Thank you Child Support for Killing My Brothers, my Aussie brothers who I'm sure ha enough of your bullshit and harassment and had taken there own lives because of mindless people like yourself. If I could have stopped this I would of, but now we have men in this country who have died because of your government department.

Australia is a Beautiful Country, but its Government agencies like the CSA/Centrelink that make this country hard to live...
4
Protection / DV Orders - By:Paul from QLD, Australia on July 27, 2017 @ 11:23 am
I have said this before in other forums however I want to repeat it as this is the most important lesson that I've learnt during the what has been a horrendous three years since I left my wife.... Whatever you do, do not let the Police slap a Protection Order (more commonly termed DV Order) on you without putting up a fight. I would go so far as to say that you should reserve whatever resources that you have to fight them. The lawyers convince women to get one straight away as magistrates love them. It paints you as a manipulative and aggressive low-life, regardless of the facts. Your ex-partner will use the Protection Order to make your life as difficult as she possibly can. Any public office will treat you like a dangerous criminal. The kids school will ostracise you and in general you will be beaten and down-trodden. I narrowly avoided a criminal conviction for dropping my sons school clothes off and asking his mother about his schooling in an innocuous email. The point is, a breach is a breach, it doesn't matter what you did or how you did it.
Our governments are too weak to fix the underlying issue which is a fundamentally useless education system, so they pander to the likes of Rosie Batty by locking innocent men away.
So as I said, save your pennies for this battle, get the best lawyer that you can, shut your mouth and appear to behave like the dickless wonder that the world wants you to be. It might just work.

6
Jeremy - By:Damon from NSW, AUS. on March 16, 2017 @ 3:50 am
Jeremy,
Get a work transfer overseas then stay there. Your family can't argue that you need a job to survive.
4
No going back now - By:Jeremy from New south wales, Australia on March 16, 2017 @ 3:50 am
My family interfered so much in and out of court stuff and encouraged me to badmouth my ex and try to scare her into settling out of court. There's no going back from it all. I said/did some terible things. So much hatred between us now. Mostly my fault.
There's no way I would be able to represent myself in court again. I did that twice and I'd rather jump off a tall building than do that again
2
Access - By:DM from WA, Australia on November 14, 2016 @ 1:10 am
Tyson, it is very common to have the ex control the situation. My ex also controlled all contact with my kids. I had 1 call a week if I was lucky on speaker, so anyone there could listen in to a dads converstion with his own kids. That is mum, new boyfriend, visitors, whoever was there at the time.
I find it hard to comprehend how a parent could even think like that and truly believe some people should never have children. This is certainly not the way I wanted my kids to be brought up to think it is ok to not contact a parent. I would have brought my kids up very differently.
The thing is most of us dads would actually do the right thing if the situation was reversed and the kids lived with us. Even if we were cheated on and the marriae ended by her which it was in my case, I would still make sure the kids were encouraged and free to contact their mum at anytime.
Now my kids are getting older and I have come a long way they stay over and their mum has always been free to have contact with them.
I was always told by people and didn't believe it, to bide my time, keep doing the right things, keep fighting for my kids and the kids will gravitate towards you.
This has actuallyhappened and I would not have believed it ever could. I now have some live every second weekend and some every second week by their choice. One is thinking of moving in full time.
The kids do see things for what they are as they grow up.
My mantra though is.... keep doing the right things, never bag the ex.
It has been hard in the past and I have said some dumb things out of frustration but it is not fair on the kids and they will remember when they are older.
4
Legal fees - By:DM from WA, Australia on December 15, 2016 @ 12:54 pm
My family court finished quite a while ago. I only really started getting any significant progress when representing myself. I had 3 different lawyers, generally they don't listen to you, they want to prolong the conflict as they make money from every letter, every email and every phone call.
I took annual leave before each court appearance, studied and organised myself totally. Then went in feeling confident and had answers ready for most scenarios.
I strongly suggest this. TO be able to do this however you need to have got eveything under control, be stable and be doing all the right things. No self sabotaging by saying or doing anything silly. Keep your head down, jump through whatever hoops are put in front of you. Yes it sucks but be the better person and deal with it calmly and with well thought out response.
Never reply to an email or text from your ex too quickly as your emotion will dictate mostly what you write back rather than a well condidered response.
Rise above it all, be polite, keep going.
You do not need a lawyer.
5
Legal fees killing me - By:Jeremy from New south wales, Australia on March 16, 2017 @ 3:50 am
Child support and legal fees (especially legal fees!) are killing me. I'm so close to paying off my legal fees but I fear they're about to start building up again.
I don't want to go back to court again (last time was told to come back when things have changed significantly) but the ball-clencher is my family. They want me to fight and not stop fighting until I get my child. I lied and told them my application was rejected but my father wished to see papers so I used the same as last time but photoshopped parts of it to make it look legit. He took it to a lawyer who said he had no idea about it.
I'm very angry at the betrayal and interference when he has pushed me into this.
Can someone please tell me how to get him and my family to back off?
Can they apply to court instead? I don't want any part of it. I'm scared shittless that I'll go into massive debt with all of this. Last time I had to take time off work because of the stress. I don't want to do that again. It's so hard I want to die.

Please anyone help me get them to stop pushing me and let me live a calm life for a while at least
2
child support and legal fees - By:Tysonn Loughran from QLD, Australia on April 15, 2017 @ 12:45 pm
an ex who refuses to let me speak to my more than once a week for 5 minutes. i can only afford to see him twice a year and even then all visits are supervised. i drove 18 hours last christmas to spend two hours with my son (supervised by ex and her best friend). then drove all the way back to QLD from Victoria which is where she has taken him. i pay child support for a child support for my son who i don't see or have any decisions in his life. i can;t afford child support and i can;t afford legal fees. its been 2 and half years and still no progress. my ex said that maybe at the end of the year i can talk to him twice a week. Im his god dam daddy!! i recently just found out that my ex has a new boyfriend and i heard my son call him daddy when i skyped him. my ex works for a legal firm in family law and has access to everything that i don't. i don't have the advantage that she does. i have seen so many different lawyers and its has cost me thousands of dollars just to get to the mediation stage. i can't do this anymore, she says that my sons doesn't remember me, thats why i can inly call once per week for the past year as she thinks its in my sons best interest. please help me, i can;t afford to do anything anymore. my life is controlled by her!
2
Child support payments - By:Sarry from ACT, Australia on March 23, 2017 @ 12:31 pm
Hi all,

I actually wasn't aware of the impact that child support has on the fathers until being with my partner. Now I'm all for supporting your children but when it is $800 a month and the mother is refusing to work and perfectly capable to it is so frustrating and it weighs on us financially! They had an agreement where he would pay the school fees as child support and so he did in one lump sum of the first term and then she claimed he isn't paying etc.

The government doesn't care what debts we have to pay now and the more money he makes the more child support he pays and the more she just chooses not to work. It doesn't make him want to move up in the work force sometimes for this reason...

I fully support father4jusice and think that fathers should most certainly have equal rights to mothers like maternity leave time and the right to support their children the way they want! There children the way they wish to and for those who don't want to have anything to do with their child, should be treated the SAME way as the women who want the same thing and leave their child at the hospital or give them up for adoption or abort them even!

If I was a child of diveroce I would hate getting money from someone who was forced to and didn't want to don't anyway!
3
310. csa cockheads - By:mick from nsw, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:56 pm
another intersting conversation with a deadshit from change of assesment.Have just received a reply from the ex regardind my change of assesment as my son who is 16 is working full time.She has the option to still receive money from me her financial statement was full of lies and guess what the case officer said she is not a liar.MY REPLY WAS I WAS MARRIED TO THE BITCH FOR 20 YEARS HOW WOULD U KNOW FROM A BIT OF PAPER WORK.im sure im screwed fuck csa ill go sub contract and still give my son a loving environment up yours csa your organisation is a FUCKEN JOKE maybe employ some males so u arent so bias
8
Become female - By:George from Nsw, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:56 pm
Any men considering court pls DON'T do anything until you have a sex change first or you'll be up s*** creek w/o a paddle. Being serious
2
Hi leo - By:Lewis from Nsw, Australia on November 1, 2016 @ 11:47 am
Hi Leo
Was your DNA test a legal one? If not then get a court ordered legal DNA test asap. If it was a legal one then I'm afraid you're fucked mate. She's well and truly screwed you over. A judge won't order another test so you'd be best cutting your losses and moving on.

You could always do a DIY kit test yourself or forge your own negative results on the computer. I know a guy who did this to get ppl off his back about not paying child support. He just showed them his test results saying it wasn't his kid and they backed right off. He's a good guy and would of payed if the kid was his but he knew it wasn't
11
All women are selfish bitches - By:Harry from Nsw, Oz on April 20, 2017 @ 5:29 am
Women only care about themselves more than anyone. They always put them self what they want first. Always. Always. ALWAYS.
Even my wife and my mother don't consider me in this picture. IM IRELEVANT. I spent THOUSANDS of dollars and cried thousands of tears and had hundreds (felt like thousands) of sleepless nights because I was coerced into fighting my selfish bitch ex in court when its true what other men say that NOBODY cares about you if your a man. When I said I couldn't go on any longer I had no fight left in me and didn't want to go into DEBT for a BATTLE I COULD NEVER WIN both my wife and mother refused to speak to me unless it was asking if I changed my mind yet. I told BOTH to butt out as its MY children not theirs my business not theirs and they BOTH got mad with me.
My wife and I have separated because of the stress. This was the ONLY thing wrong in our relationship. We never had a fight before all this court stuff.
If my selfish bitch ex hadn't gone for CSA then I would of been with my wife happy forever. I would of NEVER gone to court for access but she went to court for csa first after months and months of NO contact.
My ex didn't consider me and didn't talk to me first. My wife didn't realise I never slept and cried all the time before I withdrawn from court just talked about HER stepchildren and how SHE felt about not spending time with HER babies and my mother just goes on about how it's HER grandchildren. Doesn't care it's my children and my right to choose if I go to court. Her and my wife would call each other BEHIND my back and manipulate me together. IM FUCKING FINISHED WITH FUCKING WOMEN TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. I hope my daughter grows up better than them all but being a woman she probably won't. All women are selfish bitches. Fucking selfish fucking cumstealing bitches
6
melanies walk - By:lenny from NT, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:57 pm
Hey Albert, regarding melanies walk, i will speak for myself, you're on the wrong fkn webpage asking guys like us who have been fucked over by women to ask us to "like", add, support or whatever" a woman "!!! especially one i dont even know.
she can walk around the world for all i give a fuck"! Until we get a Minister for Men's AFFAIRS"!!! women can fuck off... i will use them when i need to. No walk a woman goes on will do men any good"!
im over the lying cheating bullshit that the "enemy"! dish up, just read the stories from the long lists not only on this webpage but many, the cunts dont even need us anymore they can buy cum and get pregnant anyway "!!! the fucking place is a "JOKE"!
14
ARRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHH - By:Davide from Nsw, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:57 pm
DONT GO TO COURT
DONT WASTE YOUR TIME
DONT WASTE YOUR MONEY
DONT WASTE YOUR BREATH
ARRRRRRHHHHHH!!!!
7
Used to be an aussie too - By:Trevor from KT, Previously Australia on March 16, 2017 @ 3:51 am
I also left Australia but now I live in the US where people don't treat me like shit and I'm more cautious about unwanted pregnancy. Thinking about having a vasectmy so I'm in complete control.
I applied for more jobs than I care to remember but it really only took 4 months of hard work and dedication from starting my search until I got offered a decent position. it would of been worth 4 years of jobsearching. I'm extremely happy now. Good luck to everyone else doing the same.
4
common sense - By:Jason from wa, australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:58 pm
Hello all. I have been paying child support for 9 years now to a woman who now has four children to four different fathers. It was planned from the start and she openly happily admits It to friends and family following in her mothers foot prints. How in a modern country is law so one sided that men can get trapped in such a way. I have multiple friends in the same position and while working in the mining industry I meet people every day who either have met someone or had similar happen to them. The thing is the csa was made to protect the child in theory but being serious how does a suicidal angry nearly bankrupt father futher help a child's growth? the csa should be dissolved and the money spent instead on a forced mutual agreement once child is proven yours in court. that agreed payment should then be fixed for the 18 year period. If you get a higher paying job because your more qualified you should be rewarded not punished and wouldn't change your fixed payments. This way 50/50 at the time of break up is agreed on by both parties and future income is irrelevant as it should be.

I wonder how quick the system would be revised if the blokes in paliment were in the same boat?
8
Worth waiting 4 - By:Rob from Vic, Australia on March 22, 2017 @ 1:56 pm
Here's the truth mates: You get less s**t for not being in your children's lives than you do if your in the lives and ex bitch says your f***ing them up. While they're children the mother has all the rights but once they're adults they have their own rights. WAIT UNTIL THEY ARE ADULTS. It's worth waiting for
When my children turned 18 I sent them letters and this was after years of no contact. It explained everything all my reasons for not seeing them and all my love for them. I sent one again to my daughter on her 21st because I didn't hear back from her and suspected my ex intersected the letter the first one.
I have good relationships with my children and we spend time together regularly now that it's their decision. I don't have any regrets about how things happened because of what I have today and my daughter told me that they all appreceate NOT having stress during their childhood with parents fighting AND THEY THANK ME for that and RESPECT me for that.
I know how hard it is but the wait is WORTH it all
3
csa r idiotic robots - By:mick from nsw, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:59 pm
hang in there to all u paying parents that are doing the right thing,I believe in karma and i hope woman take this wrong but if i go through a divorce again ill have a sex change mite see if csa will pay for it

1
300. csa ashholes - By:michael cullen from nsw, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:59 pm
i have a change of assesment in with these dickheads and havent heard anything for 3 weeks so i rang them,The dickheads said its takes time but me under estimating last years assesment it took them one day to intercept my tax return and give it to my ex bitch,Its amazing what these idiots do when the shoe is on the other foot.
1
Walk from Sydney to Canberra - By:Albert from ACT, Australia on October 21, 2016 @ 9:58 am
Melanie McCann will walk from Sydney to Canberra from 9 Oct 2016 to promote awareness of Parental Alienation. The event is called One Step Closer - Towards Reuniting Families walk. It needs all the attention, so please share the quest with your family, friends & people of interest. At the end of the journey, it will reach the Family Court in Canberra.

Here are a few links that you can find more information on the walk that starts on the 9th of October 2016. Please like the page and share it round. Mel also needs support drivers with their own vehicle, it would be greatly appreciated if you or someone you know can donate a day or even half a day to take part in the event.


https://www.facebook.com/OneStepCloserWalk/

https://www.facebook.com/OneStepCloserWalk/events

https://www.gofundme.com/2kd4244/
4
Not my kid - By:Leo from Nsw, Australia on October 29, 2016 @ 1:59 pm
My ex is a manipulative cunt. She forged DNA results by fucking paying her friend at the lab to say this kid that I've loved and paid for was mine when it wasn't! The results are considered legit oh and I'm not entitled to anything. I don't get my CSA payments back. Oh and to top it all off 'my' kid has cut contact with me! How ungrateful! 13.5 years of being A 'parent' and I get told to fuck off. Can I get her to do another DNA test that's actually legit or should I just move on as I've lost enough money already?
2
unfair payments - By:lenny from N.T., Australia on October 7, 2016 @ 4:31 am
Good on you gary and good luck wherever your going m8, my ex who was fucking around on me while i was working away is shacked up with the cunt who dogged me theyre both on good money im fkn broke same ol story im so fucking pissed off with this spinless country you me and most other blokes want to leave as well... maybe we should sll band together and create an escape route for genuine blokes who need a break like a place to go to where they can network and start again in fairness not persecution ...? If anyone is intrested post your thoughts lets be proactive and fuck these pricks here as winning here is a waste of mental energy it aint gonna happen... we fucked ourselfs letting them into parlament now they are complaining they want 50 % women in parlament ?!!! It wont stop they are the enemy and its about time you all stopped kidding yourselfs
7
See you l8er! - By:Gary from Ex-nsw, Ex-australia on November 6, 2016 @ 12:42 pm
See you later gents! I got offered a job overseas and will take it so I can get out of these fucking payments. I closed my old bank account and i leave next week!!! I applied for as many overseas positions in similar roles as I could but I got this one almost right away. I hope my new country is ready for me. I'm going to Be the best employee ever!
3
csa r a joke - By:mick from nsw, ausralia on November 1, 2016 @ 10:01 am
These morons know every thing regarding the paying parent including income place of work and financial status,When the time comes to answer questions about the ex its like a secret service and im fucking sick of hearing its the legislation/these arseholes wouldnt care if u lived on the street thanks BOB HAWKEFOR MALIND ALOT OF MEN DEPRESSED AND SUICIDAL your agency is pityful and im sur full of single women who hate men
 
Child Support if stay at home dad - By:Tracey from WA, Australia on September 1, 2016 @ 6:20 am
Hi there,

So I am having a baby with my partner, who is currently paying child support for a child he has no contact with. I earn more money so he is going to be a stay-at-home parent, but I am unsure whether he will still have to pay child support? As he will have no income, I will be the sole provider and I do not think it is fair if I would have to pay it. Any advice on this would be great!
2
Change of circumstances - By:Dave from ACT, Australia on November 6, 2016 @ 12:44 pm
Hi has anyone successfully applied for reason 8 under the change of circumstances where their ex wife was working full time and then decided to move interstate and not work? My ex wife is moving interstate next week with her husband and my daughter and is going from a good government job to nothing. When the child support assessment is next calculated my child support amount will go up. How is this fair? If I was to do that I would be jumped on immediately by CSA. My ex wife and I have one child each (14yo and 16yo) living with each other full time. The kids spend little time at either house and generally only go for dinner. They are happier living in separate houses for the past 14 months as the week about was too hard for them. My ex wife is a daily user of marijuana and other drugs and makes these available to my kids. I have made over 30 complaints and incident reports to child and youth protection services since we divorced due to the drug issue. My son is 16yo and last year 3 times he went and stayed at his mothers he ended up high or taking drugs and selling them at school. He got kicked out of his catholic school and I fought hard to keep him there noting the circumstances at his mothers house. Unfortunately they were only following policy and I accept that. What I cannot accept is my daughter who is 14yo smokes marijuana often and generally gets it from her mum house (her words) is allowed to only attend maybe 4 classes a week and truants 90% of the time and the government will not hold her mother accountable, yet I am $20 behind in child support and I get stomped on by CSA. How is this fair and how is it fair we have a child each and we are both remarried yet she wont advance her career to earn more money? She just thinks she is entitled to my money. Effectively she is taking $500/month off me and I cannot spend that money on my son and the three other children (one is my biological son and the two others are not) I need to spend that money on. My daughter gets new cloths every month and really nice stuff and it is only because of my money. Unfortunately my children at my house miss out on many things.
6
Inferdelity - By:Glen from Northern Territorry, Australia on November 6, 2016 @ 1:20 pm
How is it that a hard working man who has had to work away from his family in order to try to get ahead comes home to find out that she has been getting drunk at the pub and having sex with another man sleeping and doing it in our bed, ends up with nothing and she has the house sold the investment property has the kids and the new guy and a new car and the cash and i get to leave with my car tools and clothes?
Ill tell you why because the law supports women in a way that they can live their lives with little or no responsibility for their actions and there are no laws to protect a man thats why"!
If that happens in other countries he gets shot and she goes to jail.... no wonder so many men are choosing asian wives because all the white ones fuck us over... and most of the time its planned through the single mothers man hating club"!
6
Only the applicant - By:Stephen from Nsw, Australia on November 1, 2016 @ 11:48 am
Hi To everyone talking about not going to court know that only the applicant can not turn up without consequences. They judge won't punish the applicant for not going. Stephen
9
290. When a man doesn't show up none cares - By:Graham from Australia, Australia on November 6, 2016 @ 1:21 pm
What happens when a father doesn't show up to court? Does anyone care? Seems not. If it's for child support they'll order you pay it anyway and you can access orders online to check and if it's for visitation then its nothing but a small inconvenience to them having to go to court and sit all day waiting to see if you turn up. Besides that it seems none actually gives a fuck if your there or not. Correct me if wrong but it really seems none gives a fuck if you're the father.
9
They can go to H*** - By:Bill from Nsw, Oz on November 6, 2016 @ 1:22 pm
i said I wouldnt and i didn't turn up to the last court date so everything was adjourned for 2.5 months. Csa hasn't called me since that day so I think my ex must of said something to them (good! Go to hell csa :)). My wife believes my ex had court adjourned prior to day for her own sake she doesn't know I didn't turn up so everyone seems happy I guess. If csa ever contacts me again I'm gunna ignore them until they go away. My child don't even know me and the court don't care that ex kept her away. I'm gunna save my $ and build a future for my girl when shes grown. After 18 if she wants her father she'll have me I'm just gunna make sure I keep all these papers that proof I tried to fight for her. I think more men need to take a stand and refuse to be part of biased court and csa.
8
DONT WASTE YOUR TIME $ ENERGY - By:Peter from Nsw , Australia on November 1, 2016 @ 11:48 am
To everyone thinking about going to court DONT DO IT. it's a waste of your precious time and money and energy. Your efforts will be wasted and your funds depleted. Even when everything is finalised it won't matter because your ex can do whatever she wants anyway and you need more time and money and energy to take her back to court AND THEY NEVER CARE anyway so it's just a waste!!! Please save your money and your energy for your future and your children's future!!!
If you've started proceedings allready and feel you're getting nowhere it's because you are getting nowhere! You can get out of it and save those precious dollars for the future and your children's future

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