Have Your Say Discussion Forum

A vitally important place to air your emotions, how you feel and what you think!

The F4J Have Your Say area is simply a place for everyone where you get the Freedom, Peace, Love and Respect to share what's going on for you.

There is no right or wrong about what you say or how you say it —
the main thing is you let it out!

So have your say, vent your spleen, say your peace, let your feelings, emotions and thoughts run free as opposed to bottling it up causing ill health in you and for others.

Chances are there is somebody relating to exactly what's happening or of concern to you. What you say may very well help others as well as yourself. Once we all realise we are not alone and we are all in this together in one form or another, as living men and women with fundamentally the same psychological and biological structure, a great sense of relief and peace can come from this knowing.

However, the only condition in this forum is we ask you not to identify family members by their true names. Not because of man made rules, fear or ignorance, but purely based on respect for yourself, your family and reasons of higher good, else you're free to let loose.

This Have Your Say section is an open forum and not censored as such giving you the freedom to let rip with whatever's on your mind.

So with all that out of the way.... Go straight to writing a comment now

    <Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Next>120 - 71 Comments... +Add Yours ...Over 270,966 views
    120. Action required in the best interests of - By:David Mortimer from Milton Keynes, UK on July 6, 2013 @ 11:02 pm
    The children's act took away our legal rights to be parents & gave us responsibilities instead. The children's act does not give parents or grandparents a legal right to contact & nobody in our government or the family court system know how much contact a none resident parent needs to have with their children to ensure their long term relationship is sustainable despite the fact that there have been 7 family court inquiries since the children's act was first introduced.

    A child's "needs" cannot be optimally met by a single parent, however loving. Kruk's findings show that a child must spend at least 40% of his time with a parent to establish and maintain a beneficial attachment.

    David Cameron doesn't seem to care about what is in the best interests of children or he would of honored what the Conservatives pledged to do in their pre-election manifesto.



    On 17th October 2004 the Conservative Shadow Secretary of State for the Family, Theresa May, pledged to end the misery of the family courts. Unveiling a strategy for institutional change.

    ----- Original Message -----
    From: Ivor Catt
    Sent: Friday, July 05, 2013 3:23 PM

    “We believe it is critical to most children that they have a good relationship with their mum and their dad. We know that it is usually also very important to both parents. When it is safe and consistent with the child’s welfare, ....” – Lisa ....
    Above is from the debate cited by David. This is the silver bullet, which destroys a father’s chance of helping to bring up his child(ren).
    In the past, I have reduced this to ridicule by suggeting that legislation making education compulsory be modified by the caveat; “Education of children is compulsory when it is safe and consistent with the child’s welfare.” There is no possi8bility that this caveat will be added in any other legislation enshrining a citizen’s rights. The purpose in the case of a father’s access to his child is to make it easy for a judge in a secret court to cause complete break between father and child, perhaps by refusing to enforce court orders when there is a hint of violence. It is nothing to do with a child’s safety.
    Ivor Catt
    csa - By:gman from vic, australia on July 6, 2013 @ 1:44 pm
    well attempt two this didnt make the post

    when dealing with the csa always record any communications, you can buy a cheap voice recorder that plugs into the phone for like 20 bucks, tell them you are recording to train your lawyer, if the csa make any financial suggestions they can be reported and will get their arse kicked hard, make sure you ask them if they are a certified financial adviser?
    i cant recall the agency to report them to, so i will post when it comes back to me.
    always ask for a full name and id number if they wont give it just hang up.
    below - By:gman from vic, australia on July 6, 2013 @ 1:28 pm
    hi Ive established that the csa are not a litigate commonwealth entity,(see truth-now.net), they refuse to supply their writs of commission. the only way to cease this agency is to place criminal charges or sue, i plan on following up with charges as soon as my family matter is finalized. i somehow imagine that the police will refuse this despite clear evidence of theft but i will soon find out.

    i have slowed the csa down over the years by citing their acts of limitations but now they just don't care, so they need to be held personally liable. Once the members start being charged for their own actions i imagine things will change rapidly.
    suing the agency is of no good as you may win by settlement but that establishes no precedence so your just fucking over your fellow man.
    i am now getting garnished even though i pay the ex directly and have signed receipts stating for child support, (like i said they don't care,they don't care because they know that they and the family court fuck us so hard that we cant afford accountability) they refuse to accept these receipts on the grounds that if they did my ex would not receive child support for some time due to the large credit,( i have this in writing) its a fucking joke, a few public hangings might be in order?
    i will gladly join a class action if any get started?? and/or support a bill to reinstate the death penalty for public officials acting outside their limitations.

    there is just no accountability for any officers or women in Australia, men are defiantly fucked by all.

    im now going to pressure my employer to cease garnishment as its unlawful without a court order, we will see how that goes?

    i'm also over the next twelve months going to go completely private and cash in hand and if these bastards try to enter my property to gain payment which i do not owe, they will be trespassing and face self defense, this is what it has come to.

    CSA Debt - Never goes down - By:Frank from QLD, Aust on February 3, 2014 @ 9:28 am
    WTF....I pay an extra $740 per month to try an get a $7k debt paidd off because of an incorrect assesment and now I'm told that has increased to $22k!!
    Was told "well take a loan on your house or better still sell it"
    I work 70h hours a week to pay Tax and CSA - No life outside of work.... Can these bastards get you if your Dead?
    Still getting screwed over by C.S.A. - By:MrNatural from Vic, Australia on June 15, 2013 @ 6:05 pm
    Can you provide some specifics Paul?
    There maybe many different solutions experienced.
    Still getting screwed over by C.S.A. - By:Paul Allison from Queensland, Australia on June 15, 2013 @ 4:28 pm
    I don't know if you can help but I am looking for a site who can actually help me as my situation with the CSA has become absolutely & downright criminal..Can you please advise me as to whether there are sites who can advise& help me fight the CSA who are currently screwing up my life & robbing me blind! Any assistance would be greatly appreciated & the matter has now become extremely urgent. Please help if you can..Thanks, Paul.p.s..Please contact me via email..
    Are we Westerners Backward? - By:Barry who won't Marry from SA, OZ on May 10, 2013 @ 11:17 am
    Onya Dave, just back from Thailand and what the hell is WRONG with Australians for getting families and humans so wrong. Granted Thailand has some of it's infrastructure a bit down compared with the westernised world, but they're a million miles ahead with family and human values. I just hope western culture doesn't influence them on these points too much as they will be in trouble as a nation like we are. Even on the road they don't honk their horns at each other like us stress head impatient and rude westerners. They honk the many Buddha temples to acknowledge the wisdom that has quite clearly been bestowed upon them, but that's about all. this is one example where we can learn from each other to better us all. CHEERS TO ALL
    family court - By:dave from S.A, australia on April 17, 2013 @ 5:58 pm
    is anyone interested in setting f4j groups up in adelaide? support for dads in the grinder, direct action and raising awareness, a manifesto for changes to the system? would anyone like to get this movement going again in SA? i'm not going to blog on about the issues(in this message).no.i'm wondering if there are people (men and women) who want to get active?
    centrelink csa - By:gman from vic, australia on March 22, 2013 @ 3:47 pm
    Hi the CSA will not tell you though there is an amount of around $21,000 that is stated as self support, the CSA cannot make you pay any child support while on the basic dole.
    These changes took place during 2008 as a small step for the CSA to come into alignment with the declaration of human rights, however they will abuse your rights in every other manner.

    CSA debt - By:Martin from Qld, Ozzie on March 15, 2013 @ 2:57 pm
    Am thinking of applying for newstart allowance as job has dried up & csa payments killing me for 3 kids. If on centrelink is there a way to reduce my csa liability of now about $29k?

    Drowning in debt from an unfair system!
    110. A New Idea - By:Steve B from SA, Australia on March 9, 2013 @ 3:40 pm

    1. Parents don't separate until youngest 18


    2. Parents stay in counselling/mediation sessions until they work out mutually amicable plan to take care of kids until youngest 18.

    3. Everything 50/50 as if parents weren't separated.

    This may seem simple and unfair but so are the alternatives!

    Aust Rosella Co finished - By:Bewitched from Vic, Australia on December 5, 2012 @ 4:27 pm
    With yet another Australian company going down the girgler, after reading the below, one can't help think this collapse was planned and forced. If only we could hear the real truth about the Rosella fall.

    "Without support Australia may lose the ability to grow and process food in the future, placing the food security at risk, said Mr Gurney.

    It is shocking to think of a food industry in Australia without a classic Australian brand such as Rosella, and action is desperately required to reverse this trend before all of our food is produced overseas," he said.

    Source: http://finance.ninemsn.com.au/newsbusiness/aap/8574592/rosella-receivership-news-shocking-ausveg
    Freedom of Google - By:F4J from Victoria, Australia on December 4, 2012 @ 8:49 am
    The Web represents freedom to learn, grow and thrive - an inalienable right we all have.

    As predicted, Google is the next target to be controlled by those at the top.

    Read more and cast your vote at:
    Truth - By:Steve Butcher from Victoria, Australia on November 28, 2012 @ 10:49 am
    "They must find it difficult...
    Those who have taken authority as the truth,
    Rather than the truth as authority."

    — G. Massey, Egyptologist
    ACA - Divorce Costs - By:MrNatural from Vic, Australia on November 21, 2012 @ 8:56 am
    Speaking of A Current Affair

    that previous 2yo abuse story - By:gman from vic, australia on November 20, 2012 @ 5:42 pm
    goto a current affair dude
    NOT HAPPY - By:Anonymous from nsw, Australia on November 20, 2012 @ 12:00 pm
    When in the family court the evidence I was required to look at included actual footage of my 2yo daughter being abused by the local fire cheif and his mates. No way the police were going to investigate someone like that. Because it had been seen by the family court it couldn't be re-tried. The other heresay evidence meant the judge couldn't do anything either. Guess who doesn't get to see their kids because of what those **** state government people did. I hear you loud and clear Denny.
    NOT HAPPY - By:Denny from N.S.W, Australia on November 17, 2012 @ 7:34 am
    My ex made a complaint to F.A.C.S saying she feard her father was having innapropriate relations with our 17 year old son ,when i found out a couple of days later they laughed it off like it was a joke ,wrote to Pru Gower -minister for F.A.C.S and they did nothing ,my 1 year old daughter is in care with the exes parents as my ex has bipolar and i am in detention @ Villawood - where do i stand ? any other situation the police would of been called ???? not happy - discrimination and failure on there behalf to protect my children .........
    Hooray for our side. - By:Peter Butler from nsw, Australia on November 14, 2012 @ 1:10 pm
    Well done to you people for having your say.
    Absurd laws liken allowing hear-say evidence in F courts has always lead to nonsense judgements. Two well known examples are the inquisition and star chamber debacles.
    You people putting the latest up for all to see means we keep up to date on the latest issues.
    Keep up the good work!
    No care for women reply - By:gman from vic, australia on November 10, 2012 @ 9:56 am
    i hear ya buddy, if one thing comes out of decades of family law abuse it will be men gaining their power back.
    100. Disgusted in the justice system - By:Steve Perry from Vic, Oz on November 9, 2012 @ 6:14 am
    Onya Denny, wondered how that hole of a place was still going the good ol 'Family Caught'. It doesn't surprise me the FC processes are still antiquated, biased and broken down causing still to this day many a family hardship psychologically, emotionally and of course financially. Family assets often being looted under the guise of the best interests of the children. Huh.. best interests for themselves more like it.
    I'm sure if there was an FC like ours in Ireland it would have been leveled by now.
    Disgusted in the justice system - By:Denny .A from NSW, Australia on November 8, 2012 @ 5:34 pm
    just wanted to add that in my recent experience with the family court, they are still very bias as far as the fathers rights are, we are a forgoten bunch that the people from F.A.C.S and other groups can manipulate to there advantage - wheres our say ???
    csa human rights abuses - By:Jerry from QLD, AUSTRALIA on November 6, 2012 @ 8:22 am
    Can someone point me to the CSA objection by gman as cant see it!!... cheers in advance
    csa human rights abuses - By:gman from victoria, australia on November 1, 2012 @ 2:01 am
    hi i wish to post my csa assessment objection as their decision clearly vilates human rights, though this objecion is five pages in length and over the prescribed posting length, is there any other way to post this here. this is such an objection that it creates criminal liablility on the csa members, i do not yet knnow the outcome though i suspect it will finalise with criminal charges.
    Stick to the point. - By:Peter Butler from NSW, Australia on October 30, 2012 @ 3:59 pm
    The polls clearly show what happens once peaceful protest is silenced. The politicians distract us with buzz words like mysogeny and unfair tax. Even F4J has some protest about corruption in place of anything relevant on it's list of venues. If Australian men bend over and stop loudly objecting to our draconian family laws, then we'll be the men that allowed another stolen generation to happen.
    Where is your voice Australia? - By:Petie from New South Wales, Australia on October 30, 2012 @ 7:22 am
    Australians and men just cop it on the chin alot of the time I think. We move on attempting to get away from the pain but we never really do. In hindsight I wished I had have stood up to my ex and the system all those years ago instead of running away. I miss my children and sorry for their pain and grief too. I hope they can one day forgive me and don't blame themselves. It sounds like a confession I know but the truth inside of me needs to come out.
    Where is your voice Australia? - By:George Cahill from NSW, Australia on September 13, 2012 @ 7:48 am
    Many men in Australia are apathetic I'm afraid Davey.
    Convict conditioning, brainwashing or fear, call it what you like, many australian men are still asleep.

    Whilst many prefer dumbness, I prefer to be awake!!
    News Link! - By:Daveyone from London, England on February 2, 2019 @ 2:24 am
    Great I can post on News Link again take a look!
    What does F4J stand for? - By:Hazr from act, australia on August 7, 2012 @ 10:55 am
    Reality check. Vigilantes grabbed children from Italy, even ignoring the international courts. One Wollongong woman hired mercinaries to take children overseas and not an eyebrow was raised. The pschological violence and financial depridation of family law is only a small part of what natural fathers are suffering. If we are descibed merely as 'sperm donors' then it is our detractors that are behaving like animals, not us.
    F4J appears to advocate love and justice. If that is correct then patience and peaceful protest are still our best friends.
    90. looking up 4 fathers - By:hazr from act, australia on July 24, 2012 @ 1:11 pm
    Great pete! That and the hap mean the system is now fair, or is it yet another confidence trick?
    looking up 4 fathers - By:pete from nsw, aust on July 10, 2012 @ 6:54 pm
    Spoke to a dad other day who said courts a giving dads more time with their kids. I was surprised in light of past years & my experience but nonetheless its good to hear fathers are not complaining anymore and things are on the up & up
    Men & Family Court 30yrs ago - By:wayne from vic, australia on June 14, 2012 @ 11:33 pm
    30 years on and many men who were abandoned by their wives and children humiliated and deeply scarred by the Family Court are now suffering, as their adult kids come back into their lives looking for answers, an inheritance, handouts and possibly instant gratification with financial rewards.

    Even a slap in the face from his daughter, as well as expecting sole title to a block of land that was earnt through many long hard years of recycling aluminum cans.

    Even his son now looks like the man he once knew as a family friend, who now upon looking back, did seem to hang around far too often.

    It all just hurts too much including getting old, especially after 30yrs of burying unresolved hurt and issues being abandoned, humiliated and emotionally starved of love.

    What will become of all these men?

    Rogue Trader - By:Bazza from Vic, Aust on June 7, 2012 @ 10:35 pm
    Nick Leeson was the guy in this film and Liam Neeson was great in Taken with Taken 2 out soon. Recently saw the 90's movie Rogue Trader with Ewen McGregor playing his role. In the movie he got 6yrs and apparently never stole a dime. He lost everything - well his wife anyway, who said she only cared about him and not having money. After she left him though who did she marry? Yep an investment banker..lol If you gona do the time you may have well put a bit aside for your rehabilitation fund.
    No care for women - By:Daveyone from London, England on February 2, 2019 @ 2:24 am
    A message to Dave Matthews I suggest you read a book Back from the brink by rogue trader Liam Neeson this is an eyeopener on your very concerns!
    By the way I still cannot log in to this site the page just goes blank
    No care for women - By:Dave Matthews from QLD, Australia on June 3, 2012 @ 8:45 am
    For some reason I used to always consider & wonder what women wanted. Now I am finding more and more these days in my forties I don't give a shit. Is there something wrong with me, just plain fed up with the world of women or am I finally becoming a normal man?
    Ditch the which? - By:Hazr from act, australia on May 23, 2012 @ 2:20 pm
    Events move on. Full marks to the father who has fought in the international courts and a foreign country for his family.
    Vigilantees win again. - By:hazr from act, australia on May 21, 2012 @ 1:20 pm
    Australian police can't find the children that are the subject of international court proceedings, NOT. If family law vigilantees have more power than the international courts, F4J can get serious!
    grandson - By:MrNatural from Vic, Aust on May 19, 2012 @ 10:20 pm
    Onya Spencer... Simply the Family Court and all it's merry band of know it all nothings (ie. lawyers and would be professionals) are mostly all useless. They all play a game and put on a show to help justify taking a family's assets.

    Family Court is a misnomer. A more apt name should be "Family Caught".

    If the father is threatening the belt there are issues there that need to be looked at. If he's a bad man and hurts your grandson send an urgent email to F4J with the man's address. No more to be said on that subject.

    If it was an isolated threat, he may have been under stress as the system and a breakup can push people pretty bad. If he treats his son bad he will no doubt lose him, but more importantly let's hope he grows up without serious issues to deal with in adulthood.

    Forget the courts and CRC's, common sense and common law or fair play in the proper sense, as you just won't get it. It's all about MONEY, MONEY, POWER, CONTROL, their fragile EGOs & keeping the good name of the court (racket) in tact.

    The answer short of the guillotine for many in the Family Court System is simply for your son to walk with his feet away from his father and straight towards strong child caring professionals that can be trusted. If your grandson does this enough of his own free volition, and it gets recorded this will be a step in the right direction for him, if his will and wishes are strong enough for him to remain persistent.

    A good article on this site about an 11yo running away and finally getting his wishes to see the parent of his choice is:


    One may think I am a cynic. No... just someone with plenty of experience in this area, unfortunately.

    grandson - By:spencer way from vitcoria, australia on May 19, 2012 @ 9:30 pm
    i have been through the family system watching my grandson being tossed from pillar to post ,he is 11 yrs old he made a decision to stay with his mum (shared custody)had enough of his dad making continual threats to him about his family and taking to him with a belt at the last hearing our solicitor felt the court should here from the child no way says judge, in the convention on the rights of the child the lad has a right to express his views freely on all matters affecting him and the right to enjoy all of the rights of the the(CRC)without discrimination (part 1 article 12 parts 1.2 crc)the total lack of interest in doctor,child welfare reports from the court was sickening,the total stupidy of the so called court appointed child lawyers, this person has never seen my grandson,and found it more entertaining to talk and snigger to the oppositions lawyer. may be sitting here as worldly as i think i am at 64 yrs i am just plane old naive, i feel sad for the outcome, my grandson is week about back with his father, but i feel sadder for the very very sick system we have in this supposed modern society, or should system be replaced with club?
    80. Is the split fair? - By:John W from Sydney, Australia on May 16, 2012 @ 7:00 pm
    In the twentieth century the law changed to emphasize the best interests of the child. In assessing what is best for a child the law does not take into account the financial stability of the parents in a fair way. Instead, the law gives custody of children and after that does a financial settlement to ensure the child is financially looked after. In other words, the law creates a stacked deck e.g. A husband works and has a good work history, whilst a mother has been a stay at home mum and is not, on her own, financially stable. The law would say the mother has and has had more time to spend with the child so continuing this relationship has priority over the father and is in the best interests of the child. The court gives the mother custody of the child. Only then does the court allocate the financial resources of the family to ensure the child is looked after financially.
    This is where the focus should be. The division of financial resourses following a break up should not be done after the child has been allocated to a parent, but before. In giving custody, the court\'s should take into account, amongst other factors, the ability of a parent to financially support the child. There should also be pressure to move away from the concept that marital assets should be split fifty fifty, no matter who earned the money. Being a stay at home mother or father is a pleasure and is not work. It does not have the same financial value as a successful businessman or even a regular working person. Almost anyone can be a stay at home parent, not everyone can run a successful business or even work solidly for many years. can we change these two principals? 1. custody and after that division of assets should become division of assets and then custody is decided. 2. Stay at home parents should get much less than 50%.
    Family Justice - By:Daveyone from London, England on February 2, 2019 @ 2:24 am
    I have attempted to sign in on this site and seem unable to do so any longer so offer my final blog to you which will be published this week 'Family Justice & Child Welfare The Truth' Idedicate it to all those in Australia who go in pursuit of the truth and whom I have been associated with over the past 8 years, good luck to you all Davey http://world4justice.wordpress.com/
    Abandondment Story - By:Jamie O from South Australia, Australia on May 4, 2012 @ 3:25 am
    Over the years I have suffered greatly with what I understand to be abandonment, loss and other issues from the desertion by my biological father from the age of 5.

    I don't remember much below about the age of 10 and pretty well nothing under 5. This so called father person not known to me abandoned my mother, my three brothers and myself leaving her and us in a very destitute position back in the 60's. There was no social security & positive support like there is today. She was affected so badly from the stress that she had a brain tumor, nearly died and pretty much ruined her life. Although upon talking to her, you wouldn't think so from her good sense of humor and positive, supportive sacrificial nature for her family on a continual and tireless basis, even whilst somewhat blind and immobilised.

    As for the dog of a father (no disrespect to dogs) he has no doubt had an empty life from the lack of many family members that he could have had the privilege of being with. Perhaps it's really his loss!

    I guess I want to send a message to all fathers & mothers not to abandon their children to pursue their own selfish and narcissistic needs, for the ramifications for the children left behind can be quite horrendous for a long time and possibly most of one's life.

    Although, I get pretty angry towards this let me say sperm donor of a Dad for all the pain caused to our family with some pretty strong feelings at times i might add, I then think we were better off without a useless father who may have made our lives far worse in other ways.

    Ive pretty much come to accept these days (well I think I have), that the past can't be changed and it's what it was, attempting not to lose myself in the past for it won't do any good. It doesn't mean i don't get worked up about it at times, although, I try to forgive, understand and be grateful for what I have in the present. This is not easy I might add, taking much hard and repetitive work however I persist when I can.

    As I am more aware these days these days, I believe I am a better person for all my experiences, perceived negative or otherwise. However, each day is a new opportunity to continue to purify my mind and soul, hopefully bettering myself wherever I can, for myself, loved ones and all those around me, for it's all I believe anyone can really do.

    May we all live happily, in harmony & in peace!
    Family Justice Reform! - By:Daveyone from London, England on February 2, 2019 @ 2:24 am
    Says it all for me how about you?
    A better world - By:Petie from New South Wales, Australia on April 22, 2012 @ 10:30 am
    Just watched Zeitgeist Moving Forward Doco & what a mind blower!!!!! If anyone hasn't you should!!!

    Family Justice : Worldwide! - By:Daveyone from London , England on February 2, 2019 @ 2:24 am
    The only way to succeed in this is to come together asone voice around the world UNITY is key!!( Check out the news and forums on this site too)
    action - By:saswinD from vic, Australia on April 18, 2012 @ 6:51 pm
    Time we got active
    All of us

    Inter Alia Hypocrisy - By:Steve Perry from Vic, Oz on April 14, 2012 @ 11:50 am
    Sounds like a total outrage, a game that keeps you throwing away your time, energy and good money after bad. The only way to win is not to play at all! Be great if you put a brief story together, every piece counts to expose their stinky rubbish that many still get looted & caught in. The whole Family Court/legal system is a disgrace, a sham, systemic and malignant. It won’t ever get better it just needs to be cut out altogether!
    Inter Alia Hypocrisy - By:Disgraceful from Vic, Australia on September 13, 2012 @ 1:47 pm
    I have just been the victim of a recent family court judgement. In short i had evidence by a barrister and lawyer that my ex wife's lawyer had given advice and represented my daughter in proceedings dismissed by a judge in total contravention of Full Court law and principles. I am forced to appeal to the full court. Absolute disgrace for a court that professes to protect children except when the offender is one of their own. Would like to construct an article about this and expose this crime
    Who's up for a better world? - By:Rambo from NSW, Aust on March 21, 2012 @ 6:33 pm
    "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead
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