A vitally important place to air your emotions, how you feel and what you think!
The F4J Have Your Say area is simply a place for everyone where you get the Freedom, Peace, Love and Respect to share what's going on for you.
There is no right or wrong about what you say or how you say it —
the main thing is you let it out!
So have your say, vent your spleen, say your peace, let your feelings, emotions and thoughts run free as opposed to bottling it up causing ill health in you and for others.
Chances are there is somebody relating to exactly what's happening or of concern to you. What you say may very well help others as well as yourself. Once we all realise we are not alone and we are all in this together in one form or another, as living men and women with fundamentally the same psychological and biological structure, a great sense of relief and peace can come from this knowing.
However, the only condition in this forum is we ask you not to identify family members by their true names. Not because of man made rules, fear or ignorance, but purely based on respect for yourself, your family and reasons of higher good, else you're free to let loose.
This Have Your Say section is an open forum and not censored as such giving you the freedom to let rip with whatever's on your mind.
So with all that out of the way.... Go straight to writing a comment now
Family Court is a misnomer. A more apt name should be "Family Caught".
If the father is threatening the belt there are issues there that need to be looked at. If he's a bad man and hurts your grandson send an urgent email to F4J with the man's address. No more to be said on that subject.
If it was an isolated threat, he may have been under stress as the system and a breakup can push people pretty bad. If he treats his son bad he will no doubt lose him, but more importantly let's hope he grows up without serious issues to deal with in adulthood.
Forget the courts and CRC's, common sense and common law or fair play in the proper sense, as you just won't get it. It's all about MONEY, MONEY, POWER, CONTROL, their fragile EGOs & keeping the good name of the court (racket) in tact.
The answer short of the guillotine for many in the Family Court System is simply for your son to walk with his feet away from his father and straight towards strong child caring professionals that can be trusted. If your grandson does this enough of his own free volition, and it gets recorded this will be a step in the right direction for him, if his will and wishes are strong enough for him to remain persistent.
A good article on this site about an 11yo running away and finally getting his wishes to see the parent of his choice is:
http://www.f4joz.com/news/newspage.php?yr=2&id=260
One may think I am a cynic. No... just someone with plenty of experience in this area, unfortunately.
This is where the focus should be. The division of financial resourses following a break up should not be done after the child has been allocated to a parent, but before. In giving custody, the court\'s should take into account, amongst other factors, the ability of a parent to financially support the child. There should also be pressure to move away from the concept that marital assets should be split fifty fifty, no matter who earned the money. Being a stay at home mother or father is a pleasure and is not work. It does not have the same financial value as a successful businessman or even a regular working person. Almost anyone can be a stay at home parent, not everyone can run a successful business or even work solidly for many years. can we change these two principals? 1. custody and after that division of assets should become division of assets and then custody is decided. 2. Stay at home parents should get much less than 50%.
I don't remember much below about the age of 10 and pretty well nothing under 5. This so called father person not known to me abandoned my mother, my three brothers and myself leaving her and us in a very destitute position back in the 60's. There was no social security & positive support like there is today. She was affected so badly from the stress that she had a brain tumor, nearly died and pretty much ruined her life. Although upon talking to her, you wouldn't think so from her good sense of humor and positive, supportive sacrificial nature for her family on a continual and tireless basis, even whilst somewhat blind and immobilised.
As for the dog of a father (no disrespect to dogs) he has no doubt had an empty life from the lack of many family members that he could have had the privilege of being with. Perhaps it's really his loss!
I guess I want to send a message to all fathers & mothers not to abandon their children to pursue their own selfish and narcissistic needs, for the ramifications for the children left behind can be quite horrendous for a long time and possibly most of one's life.
Although, I get pretty angry towards this let me say sperm donor of a Dad for all the pain caused to our family with some pretty strong feelings at times i might add, I then think we were better off without a useless father who may have made our lives far worse in other ways.
Ive pretty much come to accept these days (well I think I have), that the past can't be changed and it's what it was, attempting not to lose myself in the past for it won't do any good. It doesn't mean i don't get worked up about it at times, although, I try to forgive, understand and be grateful for what I have in the present. This is not easy I might add, taking much hard and repetitive work however I persist when I can.
As I am more aware these days these days, I believe I am a better person for all my experiences, perceived negative or otherwise. However, each day is a new opportunity to continue to purify my mind and soul, hopefully bettering myself wherever I can, for myself, loved ones and all those around me, for it's all I believe anyone can really do.
May we all live happily, in harmony & in peace!
Says it all for me how about you?
http://www.f4joz.com/news/newspage.php?yr=12&id=3
All of us
???????
There is much that can be said of the Family Court System with a great swag of it not particularly favourable. Especially, in current times where the collective consciousness of the community is at an all time high with people all round expecting far better types of services and resolution processes from the Tax Driven Government, both short and long term which are beneficial to family members, and not simply the toxic rubbish it keeps dishing out!
A family separation is a period in one's life requiring a great deal of love, care, compassion framed with intelligent ways that help family members accommodate change they neither wanted or know how to deal with, leaving them in a more positive state, not worse.
The destructive mechanisms still operating today in our archaic Family Breakdown establishment must be dismantled. This of course is obvious to the enlightened.
How many years(30+), how many deaths or how many crying out for an overhaul or abolition of the Family Court does it take for better alternatives to emerge?
A few lines below is only a brief glimpse and opinion from one individual, although I'm sure many can add to it and reiterate these sentiments in their own words.
The Family Law machine is biased - not in favour of children, mothers, fathers or even common sense, but rather an alignment of the legal fraternity's financial and egotistical own self interest - individually and as a whole.
The legal fraternity's mantra and agenda is simple - it's about money, power, control and fun. A pretentious and elitist view shared only by those being rewarded in the system from other people's misery. This has to STOP!
Fractured families suffering from immaturity, naivety, and a myriad of human issues and mental illness common to us all, are often fleeced of their assets, income, livelihood and self esteem when found caught up in a system that once started, is extremely hard if not impossible to end, before everything has gone. And I mean everything; whatever your meaning of everything may encompass.
Adults, children and grandchildren alike are often left with a diminished stock of assets in their life. Family assets such as loving, caring and emotionally connected relationships at hand to support the growth and well being of fellow loved ones for many years to come can vanish in an instant. Family Court Orders are made keeping them away for no real reason or benefit to children, save to appease an often vengeful spouse who carelessly throws a fistful of dollars at lawyers to do their dirty work.
Finances and resources are too diminished for family members making life more difficult for the long and countless years ahead. What greater use to a child would $50,000 be, than in the pocket of a lawyer?
Whilst all this makes sense to most of us, it seems not so in Family Law circles and our legislative decision makers, making the aforementioned agenda of the legal fraternity appear the only important consideration.
Prove me wrong! In the snap of a finger, change the family legal system into a peaceful, psychologically and financially sound forum for common sense and fair resolution, education and transition into a new way of life.
I am happy to be wrong, contrary to my own personal experiences and thousands of other families being savaged and scarred for the remainder of their days.
Whilst adults must always assume a great deal of the responsibility for their family affairs, it somehow seems unfair that the retribution for having ever been apart of a family that has broken up and been dragged through the Family Court system, largely outweighs the harm we as a society should ever want to inflict upon our own kind, and especially our young.
can fully belive that the FLC would do such a thing
the sad fact is that the FLC has the power to destroy lives
with the conection to realiety that a demencher suffer has
i feel for you
Having just published my 170th Campaign blog, 200th political blog and definative Family Justice blog following the condesending Review the Ministry of Justice published last November I am not sure I have much more to say on this other then lets get behind all the excellent protests , lobbying . local radio comments and ultimatly Occupy movement and make it happen this year! Happy New year folks!
It is come to my attention I am going to have to sell the Ex's car, my car and the furniture to be debt free.
I have a lower back injury for where I currently work, they have relocated me to another job within the business. I will not get another job again because of this lower back injury for myself as a cripple. I know there are worse people out there whom are worse than me but I am working and keeping every thing together for my children.
I will have to sell up amd leave this lovely town as it is far too expensive to live here in a mining town, move some where else and start again hopfully.
I love my kids and when I travel 8 hours to see them, they will not let me go and neither will I. Now that I have to come to this decision, the CSA does not know how expensive this town is to live in, now my children will never see there Dad again.
I thought the CSA were there to help both sides, aparently not. They have just ruined my relationship with my children.
Thank you CSA
What you can do depends on what you're wanting to achieve short and long term, and what lengths you're willing to go to.
How much money is at stake, who's getting it and is most of it getting to the kids now and for their future?
Two and a half years ago I split from my long term partner and we had two children whose names I cant say for I have a suspended prison sentence if I do. Over this time I went to court 23 times and suffered all the usual dirty tricks fathers face from their ex's. I estimated that it cost the UK tax payer 0ver half a million pounds in court and lawyer fees.
In march this year I had a serious heart attack. AS I run and keep fit, am slim with a healthy diet, don't smoke or drink too much we can only assume that the stress got the better of me. I havn't seen my kids for over two years now and every day has it's pain moments.
I am a UK F4F justice follower but my health dictated that I back off, otherwise I won't be around when I eventually do see my kids. The family law system in the UK sucks and I foolishly thought that as a first world mature country we were above such things. Now I honestly think there is something much more sinister afoot.
I left the UK to recover and am living temporarily in Brasil. In fact I'm on my way for the 4th time to your lovely country in November 2011 to see my Aussie sisters and two brothers.
I will never give up my fight. For the time being I snipe and campaign from the safety of Facebook and my blog well out of reach of those bastards in the UK. But I am going back in July to restart my campaign with the F4FJ UK.
Cos quite clearly they don't give a stuff about their clients. Surprised? You shouldn't be. They get paid a heap of cash from the Government just for having people (disabled or otherwise) on their books, without doing very much in return. Not a bad racket really for those in management and higher.
Regardless of phone calls or emails complaining about their inadequate services, giving them a chance to make things better and right, Nah you are simply ignored!!
Unbelievable you would think, especially in a mental or physical health sector where staff should be caring and understanding at the very least toward their unwell clients.
Just as the nursing homes were uncovered for their disgraceful and inhumane conduct and poor standards, so too will the Mental Health Sector who receives billions of Tax dollars every year for causing in many cases more harm than good.
Who are watching these organisations and people need to speak up!
Shame! Shame! Shame!
Checkout movie The Sunset Limited guys with Tommy Lee Jones & Samuel L. Jackson. Jones depicts an intelligent man (professor) who tried to commit suicide as he is disillusioned by all the bad & hopelessness in the world. Conversely Jackson is the optimist with faith who saves him, at least for a while. Very deep storytelling. Enjoy!
Anyway, I watched a movie "The Beaver" last nite with Mel Gibson and think it was meant to portray a man who had a breakdown, or mid life crisis or somethin affecting his business and home life.
It was a story bit different to mine and most guys I suspect where the father had a supportive wife, his kids were with him, he had a home, money, car, job and business, so really not that bad. Plus as usual with most movies it had a happy ending.
Finding a way in which I could have a happy now and ending would be nice - I'm not sure what's missing?
The place of the offence was on a freeway where the recommended limit was 110km/hr.
The fine was $149.00. Great psychological amount perhaps to make you feel better, yet no steak knives.
The point is fellow Australians is that what car can really give you an accurate reading within a 10km/hr on the speedo let alone having your mind stay focused on the speedo and not the traffic, whilst being in fear of what speed cameras are lurking around to catch you doing a few kilometres over the limit (especially on a freeway)!!!
Another point is how many people cop these ridiculous revenue raising speeding fines (courtesy of Tenix Solutions - the business and mastermind back-bone behind Victorian and other police forces), and on a daily basis??
These fines are by no means cheap especially when an average worker or person travels some distance in a day, increasing his or her chance of getting these insatiable fines.
We all know this is pure revenue raising and not at all about safety. Not when it's only a few k's over the limit.
What of the pressure and stresses placed upon ordinary fathers, mothers, families and children when money gets taken from their hand without real justification?
It's stealing is what it is?
Government sanctioned THEFT is what it is!
Cast upon apathetic Australians who cop it sweet and don't fight back for their rights — what's fair, just and equitable, save a few merry souls.
What about the food, shelter and necessities that children go without because of these looting speeding fines?
These fines are criminal!
STAND UP people before it's too late!
Is it just me or is common sense disappearing, or has it always been absent?
Where does common sense come from? Good question and glad you asked.
Without referring to precise definitions I understand common sense to mean making sound decisions based on general knowledge, observation and experience. Perhaps based on the universal law of cause and effect. What you action usually nets a particular result.
It shouldn't be too much hard work of the mind, yet it seems to be missing with many people I have interacted with, especially in government systems. Just look all around at the many government flunkies and I'm sure you will see what I mean if you haven't already formed this opinion and moved on.
So why do many people in governments such as Centrelink and all the related organisations have alot of people that seem to be lacking something between the ears? That grey matter one often refers to.
Is it perhaps a prerequisite of the Australian government to employ a large number of people who can't think or employ common sense, and act merely as mindless robots attached to a keyboard and monitor?
Look, I'm not really sure what's going on but it often is a huge struggle to find someone with some intelligence on the other end of the phone or face to face.
I have a disability and mental illness and I'm sure one would think we get better treated by the system. Well, not wanting to burst your bubble, this is not always the case. Whether it be the people or the computer systems they must obey, usually come first even in the presence of good quality logic and common sense.
Instead on a mentally ill person getter better help from the system to improve their mental health, I for one, continually run into barriers to get the right help. The more I seek help, want a normal life and to get back to suitable work, the more I get the red hot poker shoved up my backside. Metaphorically speaking of course.
As my mental health deteriorates on some level from system abuse, I feel like I'm one step closer to going mad as I sometimes begin to question my own sanity and common sense, as the actions I partake in do not adequately translate into positive results.
Anyway, it's a daily battle and perhaps it's all my fault and perception. I'm the silly one that tries to do the right thing yet get burned for it.
If I'm the mad one, fine, open the front door to the loony farm cos here I come.
DATE: 27TH JULY 2011
TIME: 7.30pm Blacktown Workers Club,
55 Campbell Street Blacktown NSW 2148
Issues: Discrimination against boys and men in society
ALL WELCOME
This provisional way of thinking is a totalitarianism method of taking the money first and then thinking about whether in fact you have a right to get it back, notwithstanding whether you were ever entitled to pay a specific quantum in the first instance. Yes, the sheriff of Nottingham is well and truly in town.
This provisional mentality runs along the theme of user pays, just like how child support is assessed on what your capacity to earn is rather than an actual current figure, and just like paying paying taxes all ahead of time. Income, gst, provisional in businesses and so on.
I'm sure there are many levels to it all but as a suggestion i would write to the CSA requesting they provide you with the relevant 'dictatorial' legislation that allowed them to garnish your so called private bank account with what authority to take what amount.
There are various CSA Acts but it's better they explain their actions as to you just guessing.
Look in fairness, there are some asshole fathers out there who don't give a rat's arse about their kids, and I think these type of of methods are necessary in certain instances, however these men are usually cunning and setup mechanisms that are beyond CSA intervention.
You on the other hand are paying child support, at least to the mother. Of course, never being sure as to if or how it is directed to the welfare of the kids. I know of women who lavishly waste this money on themselves with little regard to the kids. These women are of course trash and don't deserve the title of mother.
It always seems to be good people who get heir heads put on the chopping block but these are all lessons to awaken us.
