A vitally important place to air your emotions, how you feel and what you think!
The F4J Have Your Say area is simply a place for everyone where you get the Freedom, Peace, Love and Respect to share what's going on for you.
There is no right or wrong about what you say or how you say it —
the main thing is you let it out!
So have your say, vent your spleen, say your peace, let your feelings, emotions and thoughts run free as opposed to bottling it up causing ill health in you and for others.
Chances are there is somebody relating to exactly what's happening or of concern to you. What you say may very well help others as well as yourself. Once we all realise we are not alone and we are all in this together in one form or another, as living men and women with fundamentally the same psychological and biological structure, a great sense of relief and peace can come from this knowing.
However, the only condition in this forum is we ask you not to identify family members by their true names. Not because of man made rules, fear or ignorance, but purely based on respect for yourself, your family and reasons of higher good, else you're free to let loose.
This Have Your Say section is an open forum and not censored as such giving you the freedom to let rip with whatever's on your mind.
So with all that out of the way.... Go straight to writing a comment now
2
Political landscape - By:Sammy from Vic, Australia on July 1, 2016 @ 11:10 am2
Upcoming election - By:Marilyn Synnes from South Australia, Australia on July 2, 2016 @ 12:03 pm3
Please read!! Help fight backs - By:Geoff from Qld, Australia on August 31, 2016 @ 1:04 pm2
280. MyBudget Rort - By:Mick from Vic, Australia on June 22, 2016 @ 3:51 amWhilst this crowd continually advertises on TV/Radio that they help people and makes their life better, this has not been my poor brother's experience where he was RIPPED OFF and taken advantage of by mybudget and a "do gooder" Social Worker who arranged it for him. Was there a finders fee???
My brother having an intellectual disability was duped into forking out almost $3,500 in one financial year in weekly admin and establishment fees, leaving him with barely nothing to live on after debts, which could have easily been wiped off, were first deducted from his disability pension.
BEWARE EVERYBODY about being misled and deceived by this shady operation which has made the owner a multi multi-millionaire --- yep we now know how --- at the expense of those in need and those who should be protected!!!!!
5
Escape child support & fight back - By:Brick from Vic, Aus on August 6, 2016 @ 12:44 amI't also pains me to pay her every month, when I know she is using my daughters to get back at me and the price that they are paying for her vindictiveness is that they have lost a dad
But then I consider that, even if a small part of what I pay gets through and adds a bit of value to their lives, it's worth it
And if I didn't pay, she would let them know & use it to convince them that they have been completely abandoned by their dad
And at the end of the day, the girls end up paying the double price of her vindictiveness ..... and my retribution .......
So I swallow my pride and pay the price, and more, cause I'm sure that they are suffering as much as I am and if If I need to pay $100 more, to reduce their pain by$1, I will do it with a smile
12
Escape Child Support and fight back!! - By:Jack Storm from South Australia, Australia on November 17, 2016 @ 10:29 amI managed this by dropping off the net. Living under the radar.
I have no access to my kids and because of this I refuse to pay.
I have no bank accounts and no assets. (On Paper)
I live a great life and I work 40 to 60 hours per week for cash.
It is possible to do if you are willing to sacrifice:)
trust me!! It works:)
1
Are trusts the way to go? - By:Barry J from New South Wales, Australia on July 22, 2016 @ 8:35 pm4
Trust - By:Adam from NSW, Australia on November 17, 2016 @ 10:30 am60CA. Child's best interests paramount consideration in making a parenting order
60CB. Proceedings to which Subdivision applies
60CC. How a court determines what is in a child's best interests
This where every one needs to focus and base their arguments in family law cases.
My case went for 26 mths from start to finish. I was up against a Lawyer representing the other parent, however my children had an Independant childrens Lawyer which was the biggest assistance in my matter.
In my interim hearing all three of my children where removed from the mother and put solely in my care 100%. The mother had access on weekends but it never occurred. After the final hearing and judgement was handed down, I remained with 100% care and sole parental responsibility, mother has 3 hrs access every fortnight, she has no say in their up bringing. Her partner has no contact with my children. I am in the process of commencing a breach of these final orders as the partner is back to interfering with my children and contacting them. His recent words to my young 10 year daughter via sms " shove the court orders up your arse" lovely behaviour. I have had to changed the children's mobile numbers to stop the contact from him. He phones the landline crying his undying love for my girls to my girls he is a sick piece of garbage. Anyway my rant is done. I say this to all parents, Represent yourself in family court, read up on the law and read up on cases through the courts website. Document all your evidence, subpeona school files, police files and any child protection files. As a Father I never gave up I persisted and studied every thing I could, I sat in court and took notes on other cases and the law words used then looked it all up in detail. Yes it is hard work but you will start to understand the system and the ACT and when you do this you then can put quite good arguments across to judges. Never ever give up. Continue the fight for your children's rights as it is their right to access both parents. At times it is so draining emotionally and physically but remain positive at all times even in the court room. I always suggest you wear a dark blue suit to court appearances, the dark blue has some kind of effect in the court I do not know why but it does and if you see in court most lawyers wear dark blue suits. Always show respect to the court and judge. Always request the court appoint an ICL, (independent children's lawyer). Should you find yourself in a DVO situation of false allegations never admit to anything with the police say nothing. When in a DVO court never admit to anything, if they put a DVO in place it is without admissions and that really means sweet FA in a family court. And never at any time run the other parent down to anyone as it will not go in your favour.
1
Standard advice to dads - By:J from Vic, Aus on November 17, 2016 @ 10:31 amI called all the men's rights & father's rights groups, in an attempt to get help and advice and they all came with the same advice - step back, regroup, look after your own health, they will eventually come back to you after age 18 ..... & so on & so on
What a crock of nonsense, these groups are worthless and even worse, because they don't have a clue &, in fact, support the status quo by advising you to accept the situation
They give no productive advice and are toothless dogs, who guide you to accepting the fact that, as a man, you should accept that you don't stand a chance, even if you are fighting for the rights of your children
& then you have boards like this where we (men) can "vent" ...... JC I'm not a woman, I don't need to "air my feelings" I need things to be set right ....... But that will never happen in Aus, where things are decided on a basis of emotion and touchy feely, ...... and if a woman cries abuse, you've had it, because you're convicted immediately, without any consideration for the facts, or that SHE is actually the (emotional) monster
In the mean time, my girls will have lived without a dad for almost 9 years, before they can see me again, at an age where they are ready to go out on their own & shape there own lives
I have no faith in The Australian Justice System and Australian society has decayed the the point where men and women are equal, except that women are more equal and men are less
Its time for men to look at themselves and recognise that they are not 2nd rate citizens and to judge themselves on a scale of a man, not a scale designed by a woman, & say enough is enough, here we draw the line & things need to be put right!!!
& don't rely on Aussie lawyers, who think that they get paid merely to hold your, while you have to bend over & get shafted ...... because it's a given, that, if you appoint a lawyer, he (or she) will go with the flow & never dare to buck the system ....... & in the "system", men WILL get shafted!!
1
270. thanks brian p - By:dean from wa, aust on August 6, 2016 @ 12:45 am3
Appeal - By:Brian P from Vic, Aust on October 15, 2016 @ 1:04 pmDid you have a residence application in at trial?
I notice you had 6 days/fn which is not uncommon following consent/court orders from an interim hearing. Some may say this time split is all about settling kids into a new routine and seeing who they align with, others say it's about lawyers making a quid from exacerbating the battle and positioning a client best for trial. All in all it's generally a load of BS and a racket our families should never be a part off!
Trouble is when a parent becomes the primary carer, and especially if the other parent has little contact, ie. 2/3 nights/fn, they can do as they like and move where they like. It's not a ground for appeal that will entertained favourably. Some parents move farther.
I personally would drop the appeal idea, lick your wounds after this battle and regroup. Get yourself fixed up, head straight and feeling good before contemplating your next moves. ie. whether a) you want to move closer to your Ex for the good of the kids and more time or b) accept what is for now, adjust and plan for something better for yourself and your kids. Keep in mind that kids circumstances change and a fresh application down the track maybe needed or maybe your ex isn't too bad and will give you more time.
Just a few thoughts for you brother to keep your spirits high, and knowing that nothing has been lost. You have plenty of options up your sleeve. Of course there is no silver bullet answer as everyone's perception and situation is different.
1
give them no authority - By:Bill from sa, australia on July 8, 2016 @ 3:22 pmThese children who were removed came to be known as the Stolen Generations. The best to my knowledge removal of any Australian child from a parent who is not mistreated or neglected is stolen. When is the Government going to realise we are all human no matter what colour,race or gender? When is the Government going to say sorry to all the innocent parents, children and families they are destroying? When does the human rights and equal opportunity Commission pass and follow legislations set out by the United Nations?
United Nations Convention
on the Rights of the Child. Convention on the Rights of the Child
Adopted and opened for signature, ratification and accession by General Assembly resolution 44/25 of 20 November 1989
entry into force 2 September 1990, in accordance with article 49
Preamble Article 9 Children should not be separated from their parents unless it is for their own good. For
example, if a parent is mistreating or neglecting a child. Children whose parents have separated
have the right to stay in contact with both parents, unless this might harm the child. Article 18 Both parents share responsibility for bringing
up their children and should always consider what is best for each child. Governments
should help parents by providing services to support them, especially if both parents work 25 years the Australian Government appears to have failed to pass many legislations and to follow the legislation, Laws set out by the United Nations.
© 2015 Microsoft Terms Privacy & cookies Developers English (United States)
Alienation is damaging to children's mental and emotional well-being, deprive children of their right to be loved by and showing love for both of their parents.
On the face book page: Stupid Stuff Australian Fathers Rights Guys Say
The website in the about section is http://www.f4joz.com/
If this site has no affiliation then please clear it up as there is no way I as a Father/Man will be discussing matters on this forum only to be harassed by a face book page with this web address
Thanks
Glenn
Admin: No affiliation whatsoever Glenn.
thank you
thank you
The mother has been given sole parental responsibility and must assist the children if they express their wishes to see their dad
Given the situation, it will not happen for so many reasons, none of which is that they don't want to see me
Given my experience in the family court, as well as in regard to defending an intervention order, I can't find fault with your description of the Australian Justice System
As regards the remainder of your advice, there is no other life, if I were to abandon my girls
I will fight this till the last drop of blood in my body and if this appeal doesn't succeed, I will carry on in whatever other way I can find
In FC it's all magic tricks that string along unsuspecting + emotionally vulnerable people to maximise games + the looting of assets. The game's rigged from the outset.
Simply, if primary carer wants to maintain that status quo, the game played is no co-operation/communication + go to trial. Most don't understand the outcome does not come from the evidence in court, or lack thereof, the theatrics in trial are just to provide an excuse (judgment) to keep kids with mum or dad (if he pays the big $$$ to a lawyer that trumps other junior). Lawyers are craftsmen + play a very clever money game of deception.
Save your $4700+ and do your best to adjust + walk away for the time being, which can be extremely hard I know.
You are best to have a break, re-evaluate your position + kid/s welfare + if necessary, begin a fresh approach with Ex down the track or new application if need be as children's circumstances change. Forget lawyers, you possibly wasted a chunk of cash on them already.
It's not your fault that you "lost" in court, altho I don't know you personally, I'm sure you did your best with what you knew + resources at hand! As I said, the game is rigged from the get-go. You + your kids only win by not being in the legal system.
THE FC BS is a hard lesson for us all, but we have to learn to let it go!!
In support of this decision, the court used examples of text messages sent to the father, by the mother, wherein she abuses him after separation (before the intervention order) and also refer to arguments between the parents, which occurred prior to separation and prior to the intervention order.
There was no direct communication between the parents after / since the date on which the mother obtained an interim intervention order, due to the legal constraints and the fact that the mother was represented by Vic Legal Aid.
I was self-represented.
Prior to the hearing, neither party raised the argument of ¨inability to communicate effectively and cooperate¨ and this issue was first raised in final summary, based solely on the nature of text messages sent to the father, from the mother – I did not have any opportunity to rebut this argument.
No evidence was presented with regards to any actual instances of parental decision making, where the parents were unable to put their differences aside
In cross examination, I testified that the text messages reflected only a portion of the communication between the parents and did not give a complete picture of the communication
The Mother gave no evidence relating to this issue
I believe that the judgement contains a number of ¨factual errors¨, in addition to the above, and I will be lodging an appeal.
Given my financial constraints, I have a bit of an issue, as I have received a quote of $4 700 to obtain the transcript of hearing.
I can get a loan for the amount required, subject to obtaining a properly experienced and qualified legal opinion on the merits of my appeal.
Which creates a bit of a chicken egg situation, as -
1.I need to find a lawyer / barrister who would be willing to give an opinion on the merits of the appeal, before confirming the stated facts to the transcript, and
2.I will now have to find the funds to pay the lawyer / barrister for the opinion
Publication of the judgement, as Brick & Brick has been approved pursuant to S 121(9)(g), intended to create a precedent case of this issue.
This precedent will therefore create another opportunity for mothers to control access to the children, by refusing to co-parent and by constantly abusing the father in text messages.
No marriage break-up, that ends up in Family Court, is on friendly terms, and this judgement will give malicious mothers another opportunity to nullify the presumption of shared parental responsibility - if I am unsuccessful in my appeal
I do realise that I might appear to be a bit cheeky and a self-serving beggar, but ask if there may be a qualified and experienced lawyer or barrister, interested and able to assist, or who would like to ensure that the rights of fathers are not restricted even further, by this precedent.
I can prepare and present my arguments, with reference to all the documents presented to court, but would need someone who would be willing to give an opinion on the merits of my arguments, ¨subject to confirmation of facts to the transcript¨ and who also would be willing to negotiate on the fee
Thanks
i recently did my tax returns back to 2006 and the tax office mucked it up and somehow someone else's income go added to my tfn ,although i got that ammended and fixed ,it raised my income with csa suddenly i had a bill for ny 20 year old son of some 15000 dollars when i asked csa to wipe the debt because it is a false value they told me the isn't anything i can do ,because they can't take into account amended tax income ,this can't be right the money doesn't exist!!how can i be liable for income that i have not recieved ,i am on welfare payments and noway can i take a debt of 15 000 that i have not accruded it's ridiculous the csa say sorry but there is nothing they can do it's the rules .at wits end.
I have a question about compensation payments from an accident and I owe CSA $20,000 in arrears. My solicitor handling the accident informs me that once my compensation is settled, the CSA will take the balance outstanding to them in one lump sum from my settlement !
Apparently he has to inform the tax office to check id I owe tax and it filters through to the CSA ?
Can someone verify this as being correct pls ?
Kind Regards
1
Child Support Reassessment? - By:SB from NSW, Australia on June 23, 2016 @ 2:42 pmAt this stage I am studying nursing at uni, working at a nursing home & have the kids almost entirely myself (he can only have them one weekend a month due to work commitments) so I can't pick up any more hours at work so I need him to have a reassessment (rather than us just agreeing for him to pay less) so the small amount of family tax benefit I get will increase (assuming his CS goes down).
He is a good man & I don't want to see him being ground down by finances.
The reasons were not uncommon & also, what seems to be, not uncommon, is that she started restricting my time with my daughters
After about 8 months, I had jumped through all the legal hoops to get to the round table mediation, required before subpoena can be issued for a legal custody case (through legal aid)
At that point I was issued with a interim family violence order, claiming child abuse and spousal violence & abuse - the mediation was immediately cancelled, as was my approval from vic legal aid
Over the past 2 years I have been found not guilty of child abuse, I have been prodded and poked to assess my sexual risk factors & all the rest, that the legal system can come up with, and required me to pay for, together with defence attorneys who are so conditioned to the system, that they do not consider the possibility of fighting the system (in retrospect, they may be right) in addition to learning that the attorneys that I can afford, believe that they are paid for their mere presence, and in my case, where they failed to appear on an occassion, which gave the court the opening to grant custody to the mother)
In either event, I decided that the only / best option available was self representing
In December last year, it reached the point where the Family court date was set for February 2015 (directions) and the interim intervention for May 2015, for contest. In the intervention hearing (in December) I attempted to apply for revocation, based on subsequent events, and was shot down by the magistrate, to the point that I felt ridiculed
On calling Vic Legal Aid for a legal opinion, I was told that it would be impossible but, being a stubborn bugger, I applied for a seperate court date to hear my application for "leave to apply for revocation / amendment" and was granted leave, by a lady magistrate who stated that my grounds were valid and even commented that aspects of the interim intervention order were invalid
After that, I started to get some kind of hope and for the hearing on my application, last week, I felt that I had covered every relevant legal section in my working summary, which I gave to the duty lawyer, as I was legally prevented from representing myself and questioning the "protected person"
On entering the court, the first of my disappointments was to see that the presiding magistrate was the same one who I felt had ridiculed me. The second was when he mentioned that he remembered his comments to me. The 3rd was when he asked the duty lawyer what the point of my application was, when the original order was set for contest in May. Next was her reply that it was merely her "clients wish" - this despite the fact that I had pointed out to her that this aspect had been addressed when I was granted "leave to apply" at this point I was getting rather despondent and tapped her in the shoulder & reminded her to, at least, mention the aspects of the order which the lady magistrate had pointed out as invalid - she brushed me off & effectively telling me to sit down & not interfere - she did not mention a word about it
The final blow came when the magistrate said that the interim order had been going on for more than 2 years and he did not see any point in having a seperate hearing for the revocation, while contest was set for 2 months time - he then postponed hearing on my revocation application, to the same date as the contest hearing, set in May - effectively negating the "Leave Granted" by the lady magistrate
This is the justice which I am expecting to find in the Family Court & magistrates court and I am scared sh#tless
PS - I might mention that, at the magistrates court, my ex claimed to be in fear of her life and got a court volunteer to hold her hand while waiting and during the course of the hearing - I am sure that the magistrate knows the volunteers and can recognise the implications of her presence
She even got a policeman to accompany her to her car
I have never been violent, or even threatened to be violent, to a woman in my life!!!!
My guess is she was an absolute task master hard arse and made the father's life hell, as much as she could, until somewhere in there he snapped. The end result we all know. I make this assumption based on what I've experienced, seen of others and read.
I'm not saying the father is innocent and blameless, he shouldn't have done that, but he is now the easy target who can't defend himself. In fact, everything about him is left up to her description of him. No questions asked. We know very little of his circumstances.
The big lesson out of this is mothers who make life difficult to see kids should know that you are making the father extremely frustrated, so it's best not to do that or all hell can break loose. I am not seeing this description. It's all, geez, we'd better get dads away from kids quick smart. Ex fathers must be dangerous.
It's a total witch hunt attitude. Humans do this in one form or another repeatedly throughout history. The ex father is today's witch.
The scary thing is my very own circumstances could easily be framed exactly the same as this guy has been, with the exception I've never threatened anyone with death. If I killed myself, the story could easily read just like his, but I'm no monster, just a weak humble guy who got caught up with an angry dominating feminist. Im Completely non violent but officially accused of violence because I got fed up with years of abuse and defended myself verbally.
The 2nd big lesson out of it is ex fathers, you must never top yourself. When you lose your kids we all think about it. By suicide you let them dominate the narrative. Even if you leave a note, people will ignore it. And don't think self sabotage will get you anywhere. People are not compassionate enough to react to that. And further more, your ex probably wants you to do it, nothing would make her happier. If you die, you're counted as mentally I'll and forgotten about, simple as that.
Any male accused of violence post Batty is in big strife.
If you ever want to see your kid post break up, you'd better have a nice ex, because if they want to have you removed from the picture, the police will believe her, and so will the judge. They just have to cry violence, the truth is now completely irrelevant, and society is cheering it on all the way.
It is now very important to keep your depression quiet to them. Yes seek help but do NOT tell mediators or your ex about it. Any male with depression is not going anywhere near kids post Batty. All that if you have depression seek help advice is total bullshit. Lefties love mental illness, until it's an ex father, then they'll use it against you.
We have entered a seriously dark era for ex fathers, because no one gives a shit about you, this is just a plain and simple fact, they don't, you're just another evil Mr Anderson (batty's ex) no questions asked.
1
dna - By:bazza from vic, aust on August 6, 2016 @ 12:46 am2
HELP! - By:Alby Why from Queensland, Australia on August 25, 2016 @ 2:52 pmWhen a faction in a greater dynamic is made in effect obsolete, it is up to supporting factions to step in.
If it is mothers/women who have the greater presence in court, then the healing must begin here.
So many women are wounded and full of fear and blame and many have closed themselves to ideas of men being of any benefit to them or their children at all.
There are women struggling for greater control in their lives after experiences akin to nightmares, largely sporting men at the helm of their sinking ships.
How can a whole race be bad and rotten to the core? Men and women are born equally in the world and when they are in love and creating families, the inequalities that arise, are between them as a couple to sort out. Yet when they split up - men are effectively, dissolved.
Our family court system has many female contributors effecting the choices that are made for our children.
Are they neutral? Do they themselves have a history of difficulty with men? What was their relationship like with their fathers? What unresolved history are they attempting to purge?
The healing must begin by awaking women to the responsibility that they are currently asleep to. Feeling supported and often vitriolic in court room scenarios, women are being substantially naive and NOT considering their children as they preen themselves in the judges uninformed and limited light.
All strength to Fathers $ Justice. If you want another admin, writer, or anything else that I can contribute, please get in touch.
All love
Sarita
1
Dumped to the kerb by the system - By:Scott from Somerset, United Kingdom on July 8, 2016 @ 3:22 pmJust wanted to vent my story with people who may understand. I lived in Melbourne for 11 years, moving there after meeting my Australian wife as she worked in the UK. We were married and have 2 beautiful boys.
I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and was close to suicide on a coupleof occasions. I could not escape the relationship as she used the kids to draw me back and continue her abuse.
I had enough and I chose the lesser of two evils, and flew back to the UK. Yep, I fled the country to get away from her toxic ways. That was over 3 years ago now. I have dealt with all the friends that listened to her side only and turn their backs on me. I have come to terms with the severe drop in my income as UK wages are not as good as Australian ones, but I struggle everyday that I do not get to excercise my right to be in my childrens lives without her being that gatekeeper. I have tried to engage lawyers, but they dont really want to touch my case as I am not in Australia, and UK lawyers wont touch Victorian law. We have 3 properties that I have not managed to sort out financial settlement as she has blatantly ignored my request so she gets everything.
I am in a legal limbe where no one wants to touch my case and I do not get to be in my kids lives unless my controlling ex wife says so.
CSA are on my back (which I pay) but they have grossly miscalculated and have completely disregarded appeals I have made to have the amount adjusted so it is relative to my UK income.
To feel that my situation is 'ignored' by the system and I can just rot in the corner brings me down, every single day!!
Anyway, vent over, thanks for listening!!!
What happens if I have an asset ( house under me and my wife's name but still owing 180k worth 500k.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Is this a load of B.S????
I am in the arrears of $1400. I earn only $51k and they currently take out $76 pw prior to court case. Now the will start taking out an additional $58 because I am in the arrears, how can they do this as my wife does not work and we have a 5 yr old child together. Can someone urgently help with some info please!!!!!!!
So I can't feed my family cause the so called other child that I have not seen since after his birth for 11 years is more important then my current family??.?.?.??.?.?
This isn't right. Can I get some advice please??
First I was told it wasn't mine 11 years ago and I got kicked out of where I was living with her, now she's filed for child support etc. paternity test is done and all and I am the father but it's total B.S
A few questions if I may, are there any limitations on how car in the future?
As I live week to week, can it be broken into a payment structure over time?
I would hate to take one out and not be able to pay it - that would make my debt around the $40k mark, and as I don't own a house or anything even that would be a struggle - also worth mentioning is that both my children are now over 18 yo thus I am not longer paying - just the debt !!
Again thanks everyone!
The CSA, FamCrt, Police, Fines, Councils + defacto govts under martial law have all gone mad for power + control + a money grab suppressing people in the process. Also perhaps learn that you're a lawful man Chris and not a legal fictional person subject to their statutes + jurisdiction. As said before, no one quick solution + do not consent to their unlawful rubbish.
Firstly I am the first to admit that I have not made volantrty payments thus my pay is garnished - fair enough, I have no problem with this. I don't have the actual figures with me as I throw them out - the whe system makes me physically ill!!!
As soon as you have a debt with them, they will slap a late fee/payment penalty on me. I will call them and request a statement in the next few days. However as I said my pay is always garnished and yet every month I get a late fee. The end result is that I now have a debt in the area of around $80,000 - of which half is due to interest and late fees. Then I be a call from them requesting my yearly income, provide this to them and make the mistake of telling them that I am heading overseas for a quick holiday - BAM I now have a departure prevention order on me - a holiday my wife saved for and paid for!!!
I am and have always been a low wage earner ( hospitality will do that to you) I will post up full details ASAP .
But how can an $80000 debt consist of 50% interest???
