The F4J Have Your Say area is simply a place for everyone where you get the Freedom, Peace, Love and Respect to share what's going on for you.
There is no right or wrong about what you say or how you say it
the main thing is you let it out!
So have your say, vent your spleen, say your peace, let your feelings, emotions and thoughts run free as opposed to bottling it up causing ill health in you and for others.
Chances are there is somebody relating to exactly what's happening or of concern to you. What you say may very well help others as well as yourself. Once we all realise we are not alone and we are all in this together in one form or another, as living men and women with fundamentally the same psychological and biological structure, a great sense of relief and peace can come from this knowing.
However, the only condition in this forum is we ask you not to identify family members by their true names. Not because of man made rules, fear or ignorance, but purely based on respect for yourself, your family and reasons of higher good, else you're free to let loose.
This Have Your Say section is an open forum and not censored as such giving you the freedom to let rip with whatever's on your mind.
So with all that out of the way.... Go straight to writing a comment now
It is an unfortunate fact. I am not a woman hater or sexist, I love women. The fact is though men will always be the expendable people in society, the ones never taken seriously if they are victims of domestic violence. No one ever believes a man. A woman accuses a man and there will be police, VRO's handed out no problem. I applied for a VRO after being puched in the head in fornt of my kids, not fighting back, not saying anthing back. No VRO granted. SOme years ago at seperation, the ex makes up some story, bang VRO on me. I wouldn't hurt a fly, never hurt anyone in my life. In fact she was the only violent one in our marriage.
Men of Australia, we are screwed.You will be forced to see your kids very little at the immense power put in the hands of your ex. You will be broke by doing the right thing and paying child support. You will watch her think she is winning by going on holidays, barely working, keeping you poor whilst contributing little herself to the kids upbringing.
But ask yourself, who would you rather be. The stand up citizen with morals, work ethic, standards or the sneaky cheating shallow being.
Smile because you are doing the right things that count.
Karma is a real thing and it started a while ago now for me and it keeps getting better for the things that really count. Dad and his kids.
Everyone knows and agrees the whole system requires a total update.
So who is going to disagree with 80% of Australia? It is wrong! It must be made right, True and Just! Get together Australia!!!
Thank you Child Support for taking so much money out of my salary I have little to live on and support myself.
Thank you Child Support for giving all my money to a woman I have spoken to or had contact with for 19 years
Thank you Child Support for ignoring my plead to not take my money because my company is making people redundant in December 2016...but you took all the money anyhow!
Thank you Child Support for not realising that the lady you are giving all my money too is rich, whilst I'm living week to week.
Thank you Child Support for not understanding the WA economy and how we have so may people unemployed (including me in 2 weeks)that we are struggling to cope and this will only drive up the crime rate when men are subject to having NO Money and No Job, again! Thank you for your disregard for WA Men paying Child support.
Thank you Child Support for leaving me on HOLD for 25 mins wh Just curious, did you put down the telephone and walk up to your nearest lunchbar and have lunch and leave me on the other end, just waiting, waiting, waiting....?
Thank you Child Support for Killing My Brothers, my Aussie brothers who I'm sure ha enough of your bullshit and harassment and had taken there own lives because of mindless people like yourself. If I could have stopped this I would of, but now we have men in this country who have died because of your government department.
Australia is a Beautiful Country, but its Government agencies like the CSA/Centrelink that make this country hard to live...
Our governments are too weak to fix the underlying issue which is a fundamentally useless education system, so they pander to the likes of Rosie Batty by locking innocent men away.
So as I said, save your pennies for this battle, get the best lawyer that you can, shut your mouth and appear to behave like the dickless wonder that the world wants you to be. It might just work.
Get a work transfer overseas then stay there. Your family can't argue that you need a job to survive.
There's no way I would be able to represent myself in court again. I did that twice and I'd rather jump off a tall building than do that again
I find it hard to comprehend how a parent could even think like that and truly believe some people should never have children. This is certainly not the way I wanted my kids to be brought up to think it is ok to not contact a parent. I would have brought my kids up very differently.
The thing is most of us dads would actually do the right thing if the situation was reversed and the kids lived with us. Even if we were cheated on and the marriae ended by her which it was in my case, I would still make sure the kids were encouraged and free to contact their mum at anytime.
Now my kids are getting older and I have come a long way they stay over and their mum has always been free to have contact with them.
I was always told by people and didn't believe it, to bide my time, keep doing the right things, keep fighting for my kids and the kids will gravitate towards you.
This has actuallyhappened and I would not have believed it ever could. I now have some live every second weekend and some every second week by their choice. One is thinking of moving in full time.
The kids do see things for what they are as they grow up.
My mantra though is.... keep doing the right things, never bag the ex.
It has been hard in the past and I have said some dumb things out of frustration but it is not fair on the kids and they will remember when they are older.
I took annual leave before each court appearance, studied and organised myself totally. Then went in feeling confident and had answers ready for most scenarios.
I strongly suggest this. TO be able to do this however you need to have got eveything under control, be stable and be doing all the right things. No self sabotaging by saying or doing anything silly. Keep your head down, jump through whatever hoops are put in front of you. Yes it sucks but be the better person and deal with it calmly and with well thought out response.
Never reply to an email or text from your ex too quickly as your emotion will dictate mostly what you write back rather than a well condidered response.
Rise above it all, be polite, keep going.
You do not need a lawyer.
I don't want to go back to court again (last time was told to come back when things have changed significantly) but the ball-clencher is my family. They want me to fight and not stop fighting until I get my child. I lied and told them my application was rejected but my father wished to see papers so I used the same as last time but photoshopped parts of it to make it look legit. He took it to a lawyer who said he had no idea about it.
I'm very angry at the betrayal and interference when he has pushed me into this.
Can someone please tell me how to get him and my family to back off?
Can they apply to court instead? I don't want any part of it. I'm scared shittless that I'll go into massive debt with all of this. Last time I had to take time off work because of the stress. I don't want to do that again. It's so hard I want to die.
Please anyone help me get them to stop pushing me and let me live a calm life for a while at least
I actually wasn't aware of the impact that child support has on the fathers until being with my partner. Now I'm all for supporting your children but when it is $800 a month and the mother is refusing to work and perfectly capable to it is so frustrating and it weighs on us financially! They had an agreement where he would pay the school fees as child support and so he did in one lump sum of the first term and then she claimed he isn't paying etc.
The government doesn't care what debts we have to pay now and the more money he makes the more child support he pays and the more she just chooses not to work. It doesn't make him want to move up in the work force sometimes for this reason...
I fully support father4jusice and think that fathers should most certainly have equal rights to mothers like maternity leave time and the right to support their children the way they want! There children the way they wish to and for those who don't want to have anything to do with their child, should be treated the SAME way as the women who want the same thing and leave their child at the hospital or give them up for adoption or abort them even!
If I was a child of diveroce I would hate getting money from someone who was forced to and didn't want to don't anyway!
Was your DNA test a legal one? If not then get a court ordered legal DNA test asap. If it was a legal one then I'm afraid you're fucked mate. She's well and truly screwed you over. A judge won't order another test so you'd be best cutting your losses and moving on.
You could always do a DIY kit test yourself or forge your own negative results on the computer. I know a guy who did this to get ppl off his back about not paying child support. He just showed them his test results saying it wasn't his kid and they backed right off. He's a good guy and would of payed if the kid was his but he knew it wasn't
Even my wife and my mother don't consider me in this picture. IM IRELEVANT. I spent THOUSANDS of dollars and cried thousands of tears and had hundreds (felt like thousands) of sleepless nights because I was coerced into fighting my selfish bitch ex in court when its true what other men say that NOBODY cares about you if your a man. When I said I couldn't go on any longer I had no fight left in me and didn't want to go into DEBT for a BATTLE I COULD NEVER WIN both my wife and mother refused to speak to me unless it was asking if I changed my mind yet. I told BOTH to butt out as its MY children not theirs my business not theirs and they BOTH got mad with me.
My wife and I have separated because of the stress. This was the ONLY thing wrong in our relationship. We never had a fight before all this court stuff.
If my selfish bitch ex hadn't gone for CSA then I would of been with my wife happy forever. I would of NEVER gone to court for access but she went to court for csa first after months and months of NO contact.
My ex didn't consider me and didn't talk to me first. My wife didn't realise I never slept and cried all the time before I withdrawn from court just talked about HER stepchildren and how SHE felt about not spending time with HER babies and my mother just goes on about how it's HER grandchildren. Doesn't care it's my children and my right to choose if I go to court. Her and my wife would call each other BEHIND my back and manipulate me together. IM FUCKING FINISHED WITH FUCKING WOMEN TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. I hope my daughter grows up better than them all but being a woman she probably won't. All women are selfish bitches. Fucking selfish fucking cumstealing bitches
she can walk around the world for all i give a fuck"! Until we get a Minister for Men's AFFAIRS"!!! women can fuck off... i will use them when i need to. No walk a woman goes on will do men any good"!
im over the lying cheating bullshit that the "enemy"! dish up, just read the stories from the long lists not only on this webpage but many, the cunts dont even need us anymore they can buy cum and get pregnant anyway "!!! the fucking place is a "JOKE"!
DONT WASTE YOUR TIME
DONT WASTE YOUR MONEY
DONT WASTE YOUR BREATH
ARRRRRRHHHHHH!!!!
I applied for more jobs than I care to remember but it really only took 4 months of hard work and dedication from starting my search until I got offered a decent position. it would of been worth 4 years of jobsearching. I'm extremely happy now. Good luck to everyone else doing the same.
I wonder how quick the system would be revised if the blokes in paliment were in the same boat?
When my children turned 18 I sent them letters and this was after years of no contact. It explained everything all my reasons for not seeing them and all my love for them. I sent one again to my daughter on her 21st because I didn't hear back from her and suspected my ex intersected the letter the first one.
I have good relationships with my children and we spend time together regularly now that it's their decision. I don't have any regrets about how things happened because of what I have today and my daughter told me that they all appreceate NOT having stress during their childhood with parents fighting AND THEY THANK ME for that and RESPECT me for that.
I know how hard it is but the wait is WORTH it all
Here are a few links that you can find more information on the walk that starts on the 9th of October 2016. Please like the page and share it round. Mel also needs support drivers with their own vehicle, it would be greatly appreciated if you or someone you know can donate a day or even half a day to take part in the event.
https://www.facebook.com/OneStepCloserWalk/
https://www.facebook.com/OneStepCloserWalk/events
https://www.gofundme.com/2kd4244/
So I am having a baby with my partner, who is currently paying child support for a child he has no contact with. I earn more money so he is going to be a stay-at-home parent, but I am unsure whether he will still have to pay child support? As he will have no income, I will be the sole provider and I do not think it is fair if I would have to pay it. Any advice on this would be great!
Ill tell you why because the law supports women in a way that they can live their lives with little or no responsibility for their actions and there are no laws to protect a man thats why"!
If that happens in other countries he gets shot and she goes to jail.... no wonder so many men are choosing asian wives because all the white ones fuck us over... and most of the time its planned through the single mothers man hating club"!
If you've started proceedings allready and feel you're getting nowhere it's because you are getting nowhere! You can get out of it and save those precious dollars for the future and your children's future
Secondly court ordered parenting plans are fking USELESS if you dont have the money to go to court! with the money im left with each week how the fk am I suppose to go to court and make a case - and even if I do have to go down that avenue dragging my kids into this shit is beyond cruel!
Good fathers get fk all, bad mothers get all.
If it wasn't for my wife id just give up and not bother turning up to {biased}court next week but my wife knows what date I have to be there. Might lie and tell her it's adjourned so I don't have to go. Don't see the point any more. Lawyer alone cost a small fortune. Csa has no sympathy for my needs. At all. Ex breeches orders but I'm still expected to pay as agreed to. I'm not ordered. She is. Fucking hell. Means 0 but the paper it written on.
It's bullshit. Biased bullshit.
Abolishing state governments is not spoken about enough people. Think about the massive beurocracy we live under and how much it costs us.
how many governments does it take to manage 20+ million people.
All the different laws/licensing from state to state. The local councils are enough and paid well to manage localities. Our one nation with lots of different people and cultures,divided by many factors, hundreds of councils state governments and one big government in a place ,some may never know,they call Canberra . And yeah we'll get this monkey show back on track, happy elections season people, and please someone tell Rupert Murdoch to stay the fk out of Australian politics and fkn retire.
Whilst this crowd continually advertises on TV/Radio that they help people and makes their life better, this has not been my poor brother's experience where he was RIPPED OFF and taken advantage of by mybudget and a "do gooder" Social Worker who arranged it for him. Was there a finders fee???
My brother having an intellectual disability was duped into forking out almost $3,500 in one financial year in weekly admin and establishment fees, leaving him with barely nothing to live on after debts, which could have easily been wiped off, were first deducted from his disability pension.
BEWARE EVERYBODY about being misled and deceived by this shady operation which has made the owner a multi multi-millionaire --- yep we now know how --- at the expense of those in need and those who should be protected!!!!!
I't also pains me to pay her every month, when I know she is using my daughters to get back at me and the price that they are paying for her vindictiveness is that they have lost a dad
But then I consider that, even if a small part of what I pay gets through and adds a bit of value to their lives, it's worth it
And if I didn't pay, she would let them know & use it to convince them that they have been completely abandoned by their dad
And at the end of the day, the girls end up paying the double price of her vindictiveness ..... and my retribution .......
So I swallow my pride and pay the price, and more, cause I'm sure that they are suffering as much as I am and if If I need to pay $100 more, to reduce their pain by$1, I will do it with a smile
I managed this by dropping off the net. Living under the radar.
I have no access to my kids and because of this I refuse to pay.
I have no bank accounts and no assets. (On Paper)
I live a great life and I work 40 to 60 hours per week for cash.
It is possible to do if you are willing to sacrifice:)
trust me!! It works:)
60CA. Child's best interests paramount consideration in making a parenting order
60CB. Proceedings to which Subdivision applies
60CC. How a court determines what is in a child's best interests
This where every one needs to focus and base their arguments in family law cases.
My case went for 26 mths from start to finish. I was up against a Lawyer representing the other parent, however my children had an Independant childrens Lawyer which was the biggest assistance in my matter.
In my interim hearing all three of my children where removed from the mother and put solely in my care 100%. The mother had access on weekends but it never occurred. After the final hearing and judgement was handed down, I remained with 100% care and sole parental responsibility, mother has 3 hrs access every fortnight, she has no say in their up bringing. Her partner has no contact with my children. I am in the process of commencing a breach of these final orders as the partner is back to interfering with my children and contacting them. His recent words to my young 10 year daughter via sms " shove the court orders up your arse" lovely behaviour. I have had to changed the children's mobile numbers to stop the contact from him. He phones the landline crying his undying love for my girls to my girls he is a sick piece of garbage. Anyway my rant is done. I say this to all parents, Represent yourself in family court, read up on the law and read up on cases through the courts website. Document all your evidence, subpeona school files, police files and any child protection files. As a Father I never gave up I persisted and studied every thing I could, I sat in court and took notes on other cases and the law words used then looked it all up in detail. Yes it is hard work but you will start to understand the system and the ACT and when you do this you then can put quite good arguments across to judges. Never ever give up. Continue the fight for your children's rights as it is their right to access both parents. At times it is so draining emotionally and physically but remain positive at all times even in the court room. I always suggest you wear a dark blue suit to court appearances, the dark blue has some kind of effect in the court I do not know why but it does and if you see in court most lawyers wear dark blue suits. Always show respect to the court and judge. Always request the court appoint an ICL, (independent children's lawyer). Should you find yourself in a DVO situation of false allegations never admit to anything with the police say nothing. When in a DVO court never admit to anything, if they put a DVO in place it is without admissions and that really means sweet FA in a family court. And never at any time run the other parent down to anyone as it will not go in your favour.
I called all the men's rights & father's rights groups, in an attempt to get help and advice and they all came with the same advice - step back, regroup, look after your own health, they will eventually come back to you after age 18 ..... & so on & so on
What a crock of nonsense, these groups are worthless and even worse, because they don't have a clue &, in fact, support the status quo by advising you to accept the situation
They give no productive advice and are toothless dogs, who guide you to accepting the fact that, as a man, you should accept that you don't stand a chance, even if you are fighting for the rights of your children
& then you have boards like this where we (men) can "vent" ...... JC I'm not a woman, I don't need to "air my feelings" I need things to be set right ....... But that will never happen in Aus, where things are decided on a basis of emotion and touchy feely, ...... and if a woman cries abuse, you've had it, because you're convicted immediately, without any consideration for the facts, or that SHE is actually the (emotional) monster
In the mean time, my girls will have lived without a dad for almost 9 years, before they can see me again, at an age where they are ready to go out on their own & shape there own lives
I have no faith in The Australian Justice System and Australian society has decayed the the point where men and women are equal, except that women are more equal and men are less
Its time for men to look at themselves and recognise that they are not 2nd rate citizens and to judge themselves on a scale of a man, not a scale designed by a woman, & say enough is enough, here we draw the line & things need to be put right!!!
& don't rely on Aussie lawyers, who think that they get paid merely to hold your, while you have to bend over & get shafted ...... because it's a given, that, if you appoint a lawyer, he (or she) will go with the flow & never dare to buck the system ....... & in the "system", men WILL get shafted!!